So I pick up a French fry and stuff it into my mouth. A part of my mind knows it’s absolutely delicious, but another part just tastes ash and dust as I chew on it.
“Seems like they’re having some sort of show at the community center by the church tomorrow afternoon,” Nico says, pointing at the poster in the window of the booth we’resitting in. The words announcing the event are all backwards, but what isn’t about this whole thing?
“We could go and plant your recording devices and whatever while we’re there,” Nico goes on. “But I still say we should just take the priest to the desert and be done with this.”
I shake my head, but can’t actually form the words to tell him no. Why? Probably because I’m starting to like this idea more and more.
“I do have a plan for all of this laid out,” I say, glad to find my voice is just a little shaky. “We’ve done many of this type of surveillance missions with Rogue Angels MC over the years.”
“But are you sure you can handle surveilling this guy?” he interrupts just as I’m starting to think I can actually talk about this without my voice breaking.
“Don’t worry about me,” I say and stuff another fry in my mouth. It’s hard to chew it because it tastes like nothing at all, but I manage it.
“But I think going to this show is a good idea. It’ll make it easier to plant the surveillance equipment. What we’ll do is present ourselves as parents thinking about moving to the area. I don’t think Gael will recognize me after all these years, but just in case, I’ll wear a hat or something,” I say all that fast, take the tiniest of breaths to prevent him interrupting again and then continue, “Going to this event will give us access to both the parents and Gael.”
He nods. “And access to the rest of the buildings. But what about after we do all that? Do we just sit in the motel room, looking at surveillance footage?”
He sounds like he’s hoping I’ll say no.
I shrug. “A lot of this work is like that. If you’re trying to do it by the book.”
He rolls his eyes.
“I take it you’re not really used to doing things by the book,” I say.
He nods. “Never really had to do it that way much. But if you think that’s best… “
I can clearly hear it in his voice that he doesn’t. I nod and finally pick up my burger, taking a big bite. It doesn’t taste as pleasant as it should, but it doesn’t taste like ash either. But after two more bites, I’m done eating.
“You’re right, we need something a little stronger,” he mutters and waves the waitress over, ordering us two large bourbons.
“I’d prefer to stay sober,” I tell him once she leaves.
“And I’d prefer to see some color in your cheeks,” he counters. “Seeing that guy really took the wind out of you.”
He says it with such genuine concern that I don’t know how to argue with it. And he’s right, I do need something to tie my soul back to my body and the harsh taste of the bourbon and the pleasant warmth it brings is as good a way of achieving it as any.
And that is sort of what happens when the waitress brings the drinks and I throw mine back like it’s a shot of juice. I don’t even mind the burning in my throat, since even that is making me feel more alive and present in the here and now. And not wandering in the fog of my nightmares that seeing Gael brought up.
“Are you planning on going to the event in your biker getup?” he asks.
“I didn’t bring anything else.” I don’t own anything else.
“Then we need to go shopping.” He waves to the waitress for the check.
“Why?”
“Because no one’s gonna believe we’re a married couple looking to move to the area with you looking like some road warrior goddess.”
“This is how I dress,” I snap at him. “This is who I am.”
I don’t know why it’s so important to me that he understands and accepts this. Approves of it. I’m not changing for anyone. And especially not him. Why am I even thinking this?
“And that’s why I said goddess,” he says. “I like you just the way you are. But I doubt all these small-towners here are gonna see it that way.”
He makes a good point. The diner is mostly empty, but all the women in here are wearing skirts. And I’ve gotten quite a few weird looks from the men and the women both since getting here.
“Fine,” I say. “We’ll go shopping. And I’m paying for lunch.”
