Which is why our first date has to be our last.
Stay strong, sis.
I arrange for the leasing agent to hold the flowers until I get back from class. The smart move would be to trash them, but I can’t bring myself to do it. They’re beautiful and they smell amazing and just the sight of them reminds me of the thoughtful man who sent them.
So no, I can’t continue seeing Brady, but I can keep the flowers.
I make the long trek across campus, arriving at the lecture hall with five minutes to spare.
“So, how was the date?” Jenna asks, practically bouncing in her seat as I drop down next to her.
“It was fine.”
I can’t bring myself to recount the details aloud. Not when doing so will make me fall just a little harder and it’ll become that much more difficult to explain to Jenna why there’s no future for Brady and me.
I begin to unpack my things and when I glance up, the TA is staring.
Shit. Am I having a wardrobe malfunction?
I glance down, but nothing appears to be amiss. My pants are zipped, I’m wearing a bra, and my boobs are safely inside my t-shirt, where they belong.
Maybe it’s my hair? I quickly finger comb the windblown locks as Jenna twists in her seat to stare at me.
“Fine?” She narrows her eyes. “Salads are fine. Boxed wine is fine. Brady Vaughn is… something way better than fine.”
“Very articulate.” I smirk. “Are you going to use that descriptor in the classroom?”
Jenna sticks out her tongue because apparently, we’re on the same maturity level as the kids we aspire to teach. “Have you talked to him since your date?”
“Nope.”
I don’t mention that he’s texted a few times or that I haven’t responded because I don’t want to lead him on.
And yet you can’t bring yourself to shut him down or block him.
I ignore the snarky little voice in my head.
Yes, I’m a mess. No, acknowledging it isn’t the cure.
Which is why I don’t tell her about the flowers either.
Jenna flops back in her chair. “You’re hopeless.”
“Well aware.”
Shit. Why is Mike McConnell staring at me? Did I forget to turn in my homework?
I grab my phone and check the outgoing mail, which confirms I submitted the last assignment. Still, I resubmit just to be on the safe side.
Classroom observations start next week, so it’s not a great time to be rocking the boat or missing assignments. I’m scheduled to observe Tuesday afternoons at a local elementary school, and after meeting the teacher I’ll be shadowing, I’m looking forward to getting started.
Observations are the last big hurdle before student teaching begins in the spring and then it’s on to graduation. I’ve worked so hard to get here, but it’s strange to think that next year, I’ll be teaching in my own classroom.
Assuming I can find a job.
One step at a time.
It’s how I’ve survived the last three years and it’ll get me through this one, too.
