I wish I could agree with her, but I know better.
“He’s not a pendejo. Nick’s a great guy once you get to know him.”
The best. He’s never tried to change me or mold me into something or someone I’m not. He accepts me for me and encourages me to speak my mind, even when it’s not “pretty.” Plus, he loves his family, respects his mother, and he’s a damn fine lover.
Unfortunately, orgasms don’t equal happily ever after.
Don’t I know it.
“Agree to disagree.” She snorts. “If he’s such a great guy, why are you drowning your sorrows in fruity cocktails?”
It’s a fair question. I was too upset to get into the details last night and, unlike me, Sofia went to work today. Turns out, lying on the couch eating ice cream and watching daytime TV is highly overrated.
“Because I got in over my head.” I drain the last of my pear martini and slide the empty glass across the bar. “I should’ve known better than to blur the lines between school and work and sex.”
If only they’d covered that in Psych 101.
Naturally, the bartender chooses this moment to deliver the next round of drinks. He flashes me a sympathetic smile, winks at Sofia, and tells her this round is on the house. It happens so fast, I don’t even have time to blush.
Or you’re too buzzed to be embarrassed.
That’s probably it. There’s a delightful warmth emanating from my chest. I don’t mind it one bit.
“Why do I get the feeling you haven’t told me everything?” Sofia says, narrowing her eyes and tapping her nails on the lacquered bar. “Time to spill the tea, sis.”
So I do. Sofia sips her martini as I recount the last few weeks with Nick, culminating with last night’s fight. I leave out the private details of his childhood, because no matter what he thinks, I would never betray his confidence by sharing them.
When I’m done, I sigh and take a sip of my cocktail, feeling as if a weight’s been lifted from my chest. For the first time in twenty-four hours, I can breathe.
I lean back on my stool, crossing my arms over my chest. “How could I have screwed this up so badly? I have a degree in psychology for crying out loud!”
“You know what they say.” Sofia offers me a wry smile. “There’s no substitute for experience.”
I give her the side-eye. “So, basically, you’re saying it was bound to blow up in my face because I’m inexperienced?”
“No, I’m just saying all relationships are complicated. Yours and Nick’s more than most because you work together. I understand why you didn’t tell him, but I also get why he was upset.” She tilts her head thoughtfully. “If you ask me, the real problem is that whether or not you meant it, you both lied.”
I frown, pulling my brows low. “I’m pretty sure there was only one liar in that relationship and it was definitely me.”
Sofia holds up a hand. “What you two were doing was neverjustsex.”
“Yes, it was. That’s what we agreed to.”
The denial is swift and automatic.
Not to mention completely ridiculous, because I care about Nick. More than I should. And not just in ahe’s a cool guy who gives exceptional orgasmskind of way.
Over the last several weeks, I’ve gotten to know him on a deeper level, and I like what I’ve discovered. I like the way he challenges me, the way he never holds back whether it’s in the boardroom or the bedroom, the way he’ll drop everything when his family needs him, because despite what the world thinks, he’s not cold and unfeeling. Nick feels things more deeply than most, and that’s why he works so damn hard to protect himself, to control everything around him so he won’t get hurt again.
And yet I did just that.
“Trust me on this,” Sofia says, a slow smile spreading over her face. “Hookups don’t share meals or responsibility for office pets, and they sure as hell don’t sleep over.” She shrugs. “With an arrangement like that, it was just a matter of time until one or both of you caught feelings.”
I chew my bottom lip, mulling her words over.
Is it possible Nick cares for me in the same way I care for him?
It’s probably wishful thinking, but even if he does, it makes no difference. He’s too focused on his past—on protecting his heart—to be a suitable partner. Oh, he might be able to hold a relationship together for a while, but long term?
