My chest tightens and I absently rub my ribcage to release the tension.
“Anyway, we were both up for an internship at Sports Stream and we agreed we wouldn’t let it interfere with our physical relationship.”Dios mío. We were fools to think that would ever work. “But then yesterday, at the interview, I had a change of heart.”
Soraya pulls a face and heat floods my cheeks.
“Not like that.” I do, in fact, have some self-respect. “I realized I didn’t want the internship, so I purposely screwed up during the final stage of the interview process.”
“I fail to see the problem,” Brooke says. “So you botched it. Big deal.”
“That’s what I thought, too, but Devin was pissed.” I cringe, remembering the look of devastation on his face when I admitted I’d purposely flubbed the lines. “He thought I screwed up to improve his odds.”
Brooke rolls her eyes and props her feet up on the edge of the coffee table. “Men are such fragile creatures.”
“So his pride was hurt?” Soraya asks, her expression thoughtful.
“Not in the way you’re thinking.” How can I explain it without breaking Devin’s confidence? He trusted me with his secret, and though we’re over, I won’t betray his trust. “He’s a really smart guy, but he’s had some academic challenges over the years and they’ve stuck with him.”
Talk about an understatement.
I meant what I said when I accused him of having a chip on his shoulder.
He’s entitled to feel his feelings, but he doesn’t have the right to take them out on everyone around him.
“Do you think he got upset because he was projecting his insecurities onto you?”
Yes.
No.
Maybe?
God knows it’s an easy trap to fall into.
It’s what I did when he ghosted me freshman year.
“If he’s struggled academically in the past, there might be a part of him that believes he’s inadequate,” Soraya says, like she’s quoting Human Behavior 101.She is a Psych major. “It’s possible your actions felt like confirmation of his deepest fear, and if he cares about you, that would’ve made it twice as humiliating. No one wants the people they love to see them as weak or flawed.”
I get that. I do. But we’re all human.
“I don’t know. Part of me understands where he was coming from, but if he’d just given me a chance to explain, maybe he could’ve seen things from my perspective.” I scrape my hair back with my fingers and use the rubber band on my wrist to secure it in a messy bun. “But no, he had to fly off the handle and make a big scene in the parking garage.”
“Look, mysterious challenges aside, can we just frame this up differently for a second?” Maddie curls her legs under her body. “You’re making it too complicated.”
Itiscomplicated.
“I don’t think—”
Maddie holds up a hand. “You’re both athletes. Competitive. Driven. Determined to be the best.”
“So?”
“So, how would you feel if Gabby threw a routine or downgraded her tricks so you could win?”
“I’d be furious.”
I wouldn’t feel like I’d earned it, like all my hard work was for nothing.
She shrugs. “Exactly.”
