I read along with the teleprompter, but there’s no connection. No excitement. No thrill of victory.
And shouldn’t there be?
This is the first step to making my dreams come true. Of realizing the goals I’ve worked so hard to achieve.
Granted, soccer isn’t my first love, but it shouldn’t matter.
I should feel something.
“Goalkeeper Liza St. Clair is on fire, earning her fifth clean sheet of the season.”
The words flow from my lips, but my mind is a million miles away, remembering the day I decided to become a sports commentator. Gabby had just won her first state meet and my family was gathered in the living room watching the Olympics on tv. I’d proclaimed I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast one day and my father had laughed and said that becoming an announcer might be a good backup choice.
That was it.
That was where one dream ended and another began.
It was never really yours to begin with.
I’d just latched onto my father’s words, wanting to earn his approval. To make him proud.
Some things never change.
It doesn’t matter. It’s done. Right now, need to focus on the present.
“The Red Stars better watch out because North Carolina is coming in hot. Mark my words, this will be one of the best matchups of the season.”
I stare into the camera, but it’s Brooke’s tear-stained face I see, followed by Jalen’s, his eyes shining with gratitude.
If only she’d had someone like Rich in her corner, things would have turned out differently.
Maybe. Maybe not.
There are few guarantees in life, but at least she would’ve had a shot at a better outcome. A chance to reap the rewards of her hard work. That’s the whole point of NIL, isn’t it? To elevate and reward student athletes who are at the top of their sport, not break them down with false promises and shady backroom deals.
“The Red Stars have won seven of the last eight games between these two teams, but with St. Clair in goal, this one’s going to be a toss-up.”
There’s movement in the studio and I glimpse Devin’s stoic face before he melts back into the shadows, his large body disappearing like it was never there at all.
My heart squeezes.
He wants this internship for the right reasons. Not because someone told him it would make a great fallback option, but because he loves his sport and wants to stay connected to it when his college career ends.
I can’t be the one to take that away from him.
Not when I have doubts. Doubts about my own goals. My own future.
Fresh text appears on the teleprompter and suddenly it all becomes clear. For the first time today, I know what I have to do.
Fear crawls up my spine, sowing the seeds of doubt and whispering what-ifs in my ear.
But I’m past that now. Past letting fear and doubt and a deep-seated need to earn my parents’ approval control me.
I’d rather fail at something I love—at something I believe in—than succeed at something I don’t.
I draw a steadying breath, look straight at the camera, and flub the lines.
43
