Or, at least, I’m trying to.
This partnership is just the first step.
“Wow. This is…a lot. I mean, I’d hoped to bring in bigger endorsement deals, but I never imagined Triada would want to partner with someone like me.” Her words are quiet and thoughtful, but I don’t miss the underlying wonder in her tone. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say yes.” I want to hear that word more than anything. The partnership will be good for both our brands, but there’s another part of me—one I prefer not to examine too closely—that isn’t ready to watch her walk out of my life again. Just the thought has my gut twisting. “Say yes, and everything can go back to the way it was before.”
Lucy’s face crumples, and she jerks her hand from mine. When she speaks, all the warmth—all the sunshine—is gone. “How could you even think that’s an option?”
What the fuck is happening right now?
Two seconds ago, she was over the moon. Now she looks like she might toss me from the pier.
“What do you mean, how could I think it’s an option?” My pulse spikes, and sweat that has nothing to do with the temperature beads along my hairline. “It gives us both what we want, doesn’t it?”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Lucy
My heart splinters right down the middle, cracking wide open, all the messy, uncomfortable emotions spilling out to fill the void in my chest.
For a second, a half second really, I’d glimpsed a future with Miles—one that included the job and the man of my dreams—but then he had to open his mouth and destroy it all in one fell swoop.
The worst part? He doesn’t even understand why his proposal is impossible.
Why even the suggestion of it is like a skewer to my heart.
Because for all my talk of screwing Miles out of my system, I can’t return to the status quo.
Tears sting my eyes, and I aggressively blink them back.
I will not cry.
I’ve already made a mess of things with my stupid scheming. I will not add tears to the flaming dumpster pile. Not now, anyway.
There’ll be plenty of time for that later.
“Do you really think I want to go back to how things were before, when I was organizing your life but wasn’t part of it?” His eyes widen, but I don’t give him a chance to respond. “Screw you for even suggesting it.”
“I thought…” He combs his fingers through his hair, releasing a frustrated growl.
“Oh, I know what you thought.” My hands tremble, and hot tears threaten to spill down over my cheeks. “And after everything we’ve shared these last two weeks, I can’t give it to you.”
I pause, sucking in a breath so deep it expands my chest to its limits.
It’s now or never.
“I want more, Miles. I want dinner dates and late-night calls and sleepy Sunday mornings in bed—with you.”
His face pales, and even his lips appear bloodless in the bright afternoon sun.
“We had an agreement. No strings. No feelings.” His face is a mask of confusion, and guilt rears its ugly head because he’s right. I made that deal. Gave my word. Thought I could handle it. “What happens on the road stays on the road.”
“I changed my mind.” It’s a shitty thing to do, but there it is. The heart wants what it wants, and I’m done fighting it. “That’s no longer enough for me. I need more.”
Miles leaps up like his ass is on fire. His movements are quick and fluid, and I don’t get so much as a glimpse of his expression before his back is to me.
“I told you I can’t give you more. It’s not in the cards.” He plants his hands on the railing and stares out at the ocean. “Not for me.”
