Me: No way. That doesn’t even make sense.
Unknown: The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.
Damn. She did it again. How does she work a Star Wars quote into every conversation?
I send back aYou underestimate my powersGIF, feeling pretty smug.
That smug satisfaction? It lasts all of three seconds before she hits me with aMuch to learn you still haveGIF featuring Yoda.
I’m impressed. And annoyed I can’t come up with a solid reply.
I rack my brain, but I’ve got nothing, so I steer the conversation back to the original message.
Me: Apparently I’m not the only one. What’s this advice you need?
While I wait for her reply, I update her contact information, chuckling to myself as I type Padawan in the name field.
“Laughing at your own jokes again, princess?” Parker calls out, bumping my seatback so it jerks forward.
I give him the finger without lifting my gaze from the phone screen. If I ignore him, he’ll get bored and go back to whatever movie he and Vaughn are watching on his tablet.
Padawan: I’m at a bar on College Ave and I’m trying to meet a guy, but I’m clueless. Since you’re a guy, I figured you could give me some tips.
I shake my head in disbelief. Never in my life have I helped a woman pick up another man, but what the hell? It’s not like we’re ever going to—
I reread her message.
College Ave?
Nah. There’s probably a College Ave on every campus across the country. The odds of this girl going to Waverly are probably slimmer than the odds of making it to the NFL.
I’ve studied those odds. They aren’t great. And only half of those who get drafted have lasting careers.
Focus, DeLaurentis.
Right.
Picking up dudes. I scrub a hand over my face. Chances are, she’s overthinking the situation. Women are complex creatures, but guys? Not so much. Especially when it comes to sex.
Me: What are you doing right now?
Padawan: I told you, I’m at a bar. Try to keep up.
A grin pulls at the corner of my mouth. I can practically hear the snark in her words.
Me: I mean, what exactly are you doing?
Padawan: Sitting at a table nursing a beer?
I pause at the question mark. Not quite as confident as she pretends to be, but I can work with that.
Me: First bit of advice, young Padawan. Sitting alone with your beer makes you look like a wet blanket.
Padawan: Who says I’m alone?
Me: Aren’t you?
There’s a long pause in the conversation. Three little dots appear on the screen and then disappear a moment later.
