That shit goes straight to the soul.
I breathe through the pain. There’s nothing I can do about it right now.
Because I’m hungover and because she chose him.
I scrub a hand over my face and blink against the piercing afternoon sun. It’s too damn bright and every ray of light is another blow to my throbbing head.
According to the clock on the nightstand, it’s almost three.
Not that it matters. I have nowhere to be.
No class. No practice. No Quinn.
When I’d imagined sleeping late today, this wasn’t how I’d pictured things going. My fantasy had included celebratory sex and lots of it.
But that fantasy had fizzled out right along with any chance Quinn and I had.
My throat tightens as the full impact of my actions hit home and it’s suddenly hard to draw a proper breath. Quinn and I are over. I’ll never hear her sweet laugh again. Never kiss her soft lips. Never fall asleep with her wrapped in my arms where she belongs.
No. Quinn doesn’t belong anywhere near me. My actions yesterday proved as much. I was completely out of control.
If anything had happened to her, I couldn’t live with myself.
I twist the top off the water bottle and drain half of it in three long gulps.
“I’m sorry about the shit show yesterday.” I take another hit off the water bottle. “I never meant for you or the other guys to get involved.”
“You don’t need to apologize. Not to me anyway.” Reid leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. “If anyone should apologize, it’s me. I’m sorry you never felt like you could talk to me about the stuff with your parents.”
Is he serious right now?
“You have enough to worry about with school and football and all the scouts trying to get on your balls.” I roll my eyes, which is a dumb move because it hurts like hell.Just one of the many reasons you shouldn’t get blackout drunk. “I wasn’t about to unload my problems on you.”
“Dude, I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything.”
“You mean like how you told me about you and Carter?” It’s a low blow, but what can I say? I’m a salty little bitch when I’m hungover.
Reid frowns. “You and I are going to have to work on our communication skills.”
I smirk. “You think?”
“Want to talk about what happened yesterday?”
Nope. “What is there to say? My father is a violent bastard and my mom won’t leave him. You saw her.” I shake my head, unable to keep the disgust from my voice. “Even now, when I’m so close to getting the money I need to support her and help her break away, she chose him. She chose that bastard, knowing he’ll hurt her again. Knowing it’s just a matter of time.”
Reid’s quiet. Contemplative.
I’m not surprised. It’s always been his way.
It’s just as well, because now that I’ve started, I can’t seem to stop. Just like yesterday when I slugged my father. I’ve never hit anyone in my life, but if Vaughn and Parker hadn’t held me back, I don’t know how far it would’ve gone.
Too far.
“The funny thing is, I used to think she was protecting me. Staying because she knew that if we took off, life would be hard, and we’d struggle to make ends meet. But now? Now I’m so close to being able to save her and it’s still not enough.”
I’m not enough.
The knowledge doesn’t sting as much as it should, thanks to the alcohol numbing my system.
