“Jayde can do it too,” Avery teases. “She has a sixth sense about these things. Tell her what you want to wear—color, length, whatever. She will find the perfect fit.”
“Sissy, are we going to go Christmas shopping yet? I want to go look at the toy store.” Kaylie, Everly’s almost six-year-old little sister, whines. She’s so stinking cute. She reminds me of Trevor when he was little. He was all about the presents and Santa Claus when he was her age. She’s been pointing out gift ideas for everyone in town, all of Everly’s clients. It’s sweet.
“Yes, baby. I’ll take you shopping at the toy store in just a minute.” Everly turns to the group. “Ladies, I’m sorry. I need to take Everly shopping so she can know what to write in her letter to Santa later tonight. Do you mind if we head out and I’ll meet you back at the clubhouse tomorrow to discuss hair and make-up now that you all have your dresses?”
We all agree and watch as the two scamper off with Kaylie singing Jingle Bells as loud as she can along the way.
“I can’t wait until Emily is at the age where she can enjoy and understand everything. To see the wonder in her eyes when she’s big enough to put up the trees and help Ethan with the lights. When I’ll get to buy presents she will enjoy rather than shit I have to wash, fold, and put away.” We all laugh. Emily is still small and very dependent on her mama for everything. But she’s growing fast.
“Enjoy it while you can. It all goes by in the blink of an eye,” I tease.
“Speaking of the dependent stage in a child’s life …” Violet says, looking nervously at each of us. “Anyone have any ideas on what gift I should get Declan to let him know we’re about to enter that stage ourselves in about seven and a half months, give or take?”
We all erupt in squeals in the middle of the mall food court. Suddenly everything starts to click into place.
“That’s why you were sick this morning? It wasn’t what you ate last night. You’re going through morning sickness.” Avery guesses and Violet nods, smiling.
“I haven’t told him yet. I wanted to be sure. So, I went to the doctor Mili referred me to. She did an ultrasound and confirmed I’m about ten weeks along” She pauses as everyone celebrates, then adds, “With twins.” That shuts everyone up for a split second before another round of peeled laughter and shrieking rents the air.
“Okay, okay,” Sadie calls out, breaking up the chaos. “I have an idea. Let’s all head over to Night and Day to find Linzie a dress, and then we’ll go shopping for a way to tell Declan his special sauce got the job done. Anyone else need to find any other gifts while we’re here?”
The girls chatter about what they’ve bought and what they need, and I window shop as we pass different stores, tucked away in my own thoughts.
I was once excited about the idea of sharing Christmas with Gabe. The thought of spending a holiday dinner with a large group instead of just lounging on the couch with Trevor watching old Christmas movies just sounded nice. Of course, I love spending time with my son and doing our little traditions, but now that he’s grown and has his friends in the club, I don’t see him as much. Selfishly, I thought I would have the best of both worlds. I’d get to spend the holidays with my son and his newfamily.
I even had a gift tucked away for Gabe, but it seems like a foolish thing to have purchased now. Things are too awkward for me to give it to him.
Especially since I’m trying to get him to leave me alone.
“You seem deep in thought,” Violet says, coming up alongside me. “Anything you want to talk about? Like a certain broody biker with a gruff, growly voice and attitude to match?”
“Oh. Are you referring to Declan?” I tease.
“Touche.” She laughs. “But no. I was referring to the way Gabe’s been moping around the clubhouse like a growly bear for the last few weeks. He seems to be trying to make amends, while you keep pushing him off. But …” She stops. When I pause my steps to look her in the eye, she bites her lip, hesitant to speak.
“But?”
“Well, you seem to light up whenever he touches you or talks to you in a certain way. We’ve all noticed it. So, is it that you want to make him work for it? Or are you truly trying to move on and get over him?”
I let out a long-suffering sigh. “I’m not over him. But I don’t know how I can trust him. He hurt me. I know I hurt him too, but I apologized, and he acted as if it was nothing.Iwas nothing. He completely ignored my feelings and my concerns for both him and my son. But …”
Violet smiles, waiting patiently. “Buuut?”
“But I still want to be with him. I think I’m in love with the big dumb dope, but the way he disregarded me so quickly … I just want to … I don’t know.”
“You want to show him what he’s missing and make him beg for it,” Sadie supplies from behind me. “And you should. He disregarded your feelings and made you feel devalued. Well, let’s show him what he pushed away. We all know the best way for a man to apologize is on his knees. So, let us help you put him there.” Sadie wiggles her brows suggestively. I laugh until Irealize the side of the Night and Day store we’ve just entered is the adult toys and lingerie.
“Sadie?”
“Oh, come on. They have sexy dresses and clothing in here too. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of dildos, pocket pussies, and vibrators, oh my.” Sadie slaps her hands on her cheeks, and I can’t help but laugh.
We browse around the store for over an hour, laughing and shopping. I found a few cute things for myself and a new vibrator, because I’m not letting Gabe back in my bed anytime soon. Sadie’s right. I need him to work for it. Prove to me he truly wants this relationship to work. That he won’t push me away the next time there’s club business I don’t understand. But in the meantime …
A girl’s got to eat.
As I approach the front counter, the young girl behind the register takes my pile of clothes and undergarments and begins ringing me up. I notice the small Christmas tree on the counter adorned with various sizes of butt plugs for ornaments and anal beads for garland. I’m trying to stifle my laughter when a text comes through on my phone.
Gabe: I’m about done waiting, babe. We’ve played your little game. I’ve accepted your apology. Now it’s time we both get over it and move on.
