I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and listen intently.
“For a long time, you’ve believed you were incapable of giving or receiving love. But you’re wrong. You’ve always had a special ability to make people feel like they were the most important person in the room. Your protectiveness, your inability to allow Giselle to stray from her dreams—all of these are ways you show love, Enzo.”
“Protecting my family is my job.”
“No, baby. You made it your job. Because you’re good at it. But it’s who you are at your core. And you need to know that you are worthy of love. Not just from me and your sister, but from those who care about you. Your family. They love you, but you don’t feel it because you push it away. You feel guilt over your father’s mistakes, but they’re not your mistakes. You avenged me. You protected your sister. You did what was right, and you did it out of love. I don’t hold anything against you or the little boy inside you who came to his mama’s rescue.”
“But I failed you. He killed you anyway. I was too small. Too afraid. Too late.” My chest hurts. A sharp stabbing pain thrums in the place where my heart beats.
“You didn’t fail. You were a child. And you were not responsible for your father’s lies or his actions.” An overwhelming warmth comes over me, soothing the sharp pain in my chest. “Let it go, Enzo. Let Gianni go and let Althea loveyou. You deserve to be happy. And she deserves to know that you love her too.”
I gasp when I open my eyes. The smoke has cleared, and Hex has left the cottage.
Did I dream it?
I start to pick up my half-empty glass of whiskey but notice the leather-bound book sitting on the coffee table where Hex left it. I lean over, reaching for the book, and notice my face reflecting in the mirrored table. On top of the book is a handwritten note that reads, “Don’t touch your makeup. It was the bride’s request.” Signed Hex.
Sitting back down on the couch, I open the cover of the clearly warn book and start reading. My eyes glass over when I realize whose book this once was.
February 14, 1996
Today I discovered I’m with child and I couldn’t be happier. I haven’t even met you, but I am already so in love with you. You came at a time when I was feeling so alone and unwanted, without a purpose or a reason to direct my path. But then I saw your tiny heartbeat on the screen in the doctor’s office. It was just you and me in that dim little room. Our hearts beating together. Yours was fast and flashed so quickly. Mine was steady and full of excitement.
I don’t know what will come of my life or my marriage with your father, but you don’t need to worry. You are my purpose now. Seeing to your happiness, loving you, and watching you grow is all that matters to me now. Even if he leaves us, we will be all right. If he threatens us or tries to steal us away from the rest of the family. I will protect you and love you through it all.
I know your father isn’t the man I once thought he was, but it won’t change who we are. We are Venatti. We are family, and we protect our own.
Love,
Mama
33
ALTHEA
Everyone is here.
The house is all abuzz with people trying to get things done, and I’m full of nervous energy. I’m not nervous about getting married, but about the wedding itself. I made some changes to the event and didn’t get Enzo’s approval. I’m hoping he’ll go with it. When Hex came back and told me he was able to get Enzo’s makeup done with no pushback from him, I was shocked. I thought for sure Enzo was going to put his foot down and bitch about it. Mostly because the original plan he had for the wedding, although a very thoughtful gesture, was designed for a fairytale princess more than a Mafia bride.
“Have all the flowers arrived?” I ask Giselle. She came in shortly after Chloe, Liam, and Drew arrived. She and Chloe have been running around helping Vella change out all her crisp white decorations for the black and crimson red ones I asked for. I had a hard time envisioning anything pertaining to Enzo and me being such a clean and pure color.
We’re darkness and chaos. So, when I made the request to change things up and create a special moment that resemblesthe two of us, his aunt Vella, although not pleased to undo all her work, obliged.
The large reception room has been transformed into a ballroom, just like I asked for.
Gone were all the white daisies and lace. All beautiful things, none of which fitourstory. We needed something themed more for a little devil and her Master of Death.
Vella had chairs set out on both sides of the room with a makeshift aisle down the middle, each lined with black satin bows and dark red roses with small skulls in the center. The archway is covered in spiderwebs and black tulle. There are huge red roses and larger skulls dispersed evenly on either side. The four black lanterns hanging from the center with flickering flame lights give the stage where we will say our vows a soft, spookish glow.
Mama spent most of the morning doing all of our hair and makeup while the three of us girls giggled and talked about everything under the sun. I was wrong to be jealous of Giselle. The way she speaks about Enzo, and how he takes care of her sounds similar to the way he is with me.
She’s told me stories about him getting into fights over Giselle.
“Like one time, when he learned someone had made fun of me because my hair was a mess. Which it was.” She giggles. “But the boy who teased me told me I should tell my mom to do a better job because I looked like a homeless hobo. Well, naturally, I came home in tears, asking to have all my hair cut off. It was the dramatic response of a seven-year-old girl.” She laughs. “But Enzo wouldn’t hear of it. I don’t knowexactlywhat happened. But I know my uncle Marcello drove Enzo, Naz, and Mauro to find the boy, leaving me with my Aunt Connie and the rest of the kids. The boy who made fun of me came to school the next day with a broken arm and a busted eye.”
“He deserved it.” Is my only response. Chloe jokes about how Enzo and I are two peas in a pod, while telling the story about the football player in college who thought it would be a good idea to drug my best friend at a party.
“Unfortunately for him, Althea caught on to what had happened and she, Liam, and Drew took me home before anything worse happened.” Chloe narrows her eyes at me. “But when I woke up the next morning, it was to text messages and photos of the same football player, tied to a tree wearing only a pair of women’s panties and the words ‘pig fucker’ tattooed into his forearm in old English style lettering.”
