“Stop. Everything is going to be okay.”
I let out a shuddering breath. “What, what does this mean for the others?"
He grumbles and the vibrations through his chest against my face is oddly soothing. Ryker sits us up and maneuvers me to sit in his lap. Heat fills my face again when I realize that I’m naked from the waist down and he’s still fully clothed. That makes me think about what he just did to my body and I wonder why he didn’t try to have sex with me. His fingers soothingly caress my bare thigh as he starts to speak.
“It only changes things if you want them to. We all want to be with you and have feelings for you but there’s no pressure on you for anything. You’re in control, baby. You choose what happens with one or all of us.”
My teeth go to my bottom lip and start worrying at it. I don’t understand how that would work. I don’t even know how a real, healthy relationship with just one man would work, let alone three.
Ryker leans in and kisses me softly, slowly, and then pulls back.
“Tell me what you want. Tell me what your perfect world looks like, Avery.”
I stare at his beautiful mouth as I try and see what that would be but all I come up with is more of his mouth on me. I curse my fair skin as two bright, red hot spots form on my cheeks and Ryker chuckles.
“Besides that. You can have as much of that as you want.” He growls and kisses the side of my head. “For your future. You’re free now so what does the perfect life look like for you?”
I don’t let myself overthink it, I just blurt out, “You! You and Zack and Easton and me and Chloe here together as a family.”
The smile that blooms across his face releases some of the tension in my chest but not all of it.
“What, how, how would this work? I mean, with, with three of you and only one me.”
He strokes my back making me want to snuggle back into him.
“You choose. You are in charge every step of the way, Avery. We all want you but you decide who you want to be with. We would never pressure you.”
I think about what just happened with Ryker, kissing Zack in the pool and Easton pressed against me in the kitchen when we were making pies. I’ve felt something for each one of them, something more than just friendship but…
“Is it wrong?” I ask him hesitantly. “I don’t have much experience with men. Is it wrong to have feelings for more than one man? To have…be…intimate with…is it wrong?”
His lips slide over mine again, soft, loving.
“Does this feel wrong?” He asks me and when I shake my head he nips my bottom lip making me squirm in his lap. “It’s only wrong if you don’t feel comfortable, safe. We all want you, baby, but it’s not just about sex. We care about you and want to be with you. We would never want you to be uncomfortable or feel pressured into anything.”
It sounds like a dream to me. For so long I just wanted to be…wanted, to matter to someone besides Chloe. I just want to be loved. To have not one but three men give me that? It feels selfish somehow.
“You all would really be okay…sharing…me? But for how long? What happens when one of you wants to find a wife or have children? I have Chloe to think about! It would be so easy for her to see you all as father figures. What happens to her when you decide to start families of your own? I…I don’t think I can risk that, risk her heart.”
He lifts my chin and sweeps his thumb across my cheek with a low growl.
“Not going to happen. I want you and Chloe to be my family, to make a family together.” A gleam comes into his eyes. “Happy to add more kids to that…if you want that.”
I suck in a breath at his words. I’ve always wanted more children but once I realized what a monster I married, I knew I could never let that happen. Ryker is laying out all the dreams I didn’t think I could ever have at my feet but I’m scared, scared that this kind of fairy tale could never be true.
I swallow the uncertainty down and ask again, “The others? They would be okay with sharing me?”
A low rumble of approval soothes the ache of want inside of me. “Yes, we will give you everything you could ever want, baby. Just say yes.”
Hot tears burn at the back of my eyes. God, I want it. I want to be happy, safe, loved. I want Chloe to have a home filled with laughter and play. A father…fathers…to care for her, love her and guide her as she grows. The emotions overcome me so much that words aren’t possible so I just lean in and answer with my lips against his instead. His arms tighten around me and his mouth devours mine to seal all the promises he’s offering me.
The kiss is so deep and heated that my core heats up and the ache between my legs blooms again with need. I press against him with a moan but he pulls back.
“Want you in a bed, naked and laid out for me to worship properly. Our first time won’t be on a gym mat, baby.” He kisses me one more time and then lifts me to my feet and helps me dress. A thrill runs through me. I can picture it, his hard beautiful body above me and now that I know the kind of pleasure he can bring me, I want more of it, more of him.
I glance over to the punching bag and it reminds me of what brought us in here to begin with. My shoulders go tense and my fingers clench. He’s out there somewhere and I can’t forget it. I turn back to Ryker and take a deep breath.
“Will he find us?”
