She nods slowly and I love seeing her all soft and sleepy like this. There’s no sign of the tension she usually carries herself with.
“M’kay.”
She leans over to gather her clothes and walks slowly to the door with a little sway in her stride. When she gets to the door, she looks back over her shoulder at me. Her eyes dip down and slide over my bare chest for a moment with that hint of confusion in them but when they lift to meet mine, all I see is gratitude in them.
“Thank you, Ryker…for everything.”
I grunt back at her, “Nap!”
She gives me a tiny smile and then pushes out the door. I stand there staring at the open door for a few minutes and then shake the water off of me and head to the shower. I feel like the biggest asshole but my hand fists my rigid cock as soon as I step under the spray. As I pump it hard and fast, I picture those gorgeous violet eyes looking up at me as her mouth trails heat over my skin. A low deep groan falls from my lips and I pray to God that one day, it might be a possibility.
Avery
As much as I want to slide in under the covers and take that nap that Ryker insisted upon, I can’t bring myself to leave my wet undergarments on the floor so I drape them over the bar in the bathroom and then I crawl in between the sheets…naked. I let my loose, warm body melt into the sheets, loving the way the soft material feels against my skin. I’ve never slept naked before. I always had to be on guard for…him. I push those thoughts away, not wanting to ruin the glow of contentment I’m feeling right now. For the first time in a long time, my body doesn’t hurt. I know it’s only temporary as I still have a lot of healing to do but the hot soak and Ryker massaging the tense muscles in my back have given me the gift of a few hours without pain.
I lift my fingers to my mouth as thoughts of Ryker flood in. God, he’s beautiful. My eyes pop open at that unexpected thought. He’s so kind to me, so caring but there was something about the way he touched me, looked at me, that makes me think there might be something…more? I practice one of his growls but it comes out silly.
I’m projecting something onto him that’s not there and I need to stop it right now. He’s my friend…that’s all. Just because I wondered what it would be like to have a man want me for me and not for an object to be controlled and abused doesn’t mean he has any interest in that direction.
God, I’m a mess. I don’t know anything about men but I’m pretty sure no one would be interested in a broken, bruised disaster like me. I sigh and burrow deeper under the covers. Just because my belly was filled with butterflies when he put his hands on me doesn’t mean anything more could happen. I don’t ever want to have sex again. It hurts so much and leaves me aching for days down there. A man like Ryker would want more than cuddles and kisses and that isn’t something I want to ever experience again. I need to keep any of that out of things, no matter how much I liked the way his fingers felt on my body.
Drowsy turns to sleep and dreams like I’ve never had before fill it.
Hard hands rub softly, gently up and down my body, turning the butterflies feeling to ash as heat takes their place. I want more, something I can’t name as I’ve never felt it before. I ache but in a good way for something that’s missing. When wet lips glide over my skin, it gets closer and closer. I strain for what’s missing. A deep need, want, desire for more, but it stays just out of reach. My hips lift, searching for something and a low growl of approval has heat flooding between my legs as the glorious ache intensifies. Oh God, I want it so bad. I wish, wish I knew what it was. My heart is racing in excitement and a touch of fear of the unknown I’m reaching for. My breath comes in pants and I want to beg, plead for what I need even if I don’t know how to name it. Hot hands and fingers stroke me everywhere but where I need it the most and I squeeze my thighs together to try and stop the ache inside me. I need him. I need him to touch me, touch me there…
I wake with a gasp as my eyes fly open. My heart is racing and I squeeze the pillow I’m clutching to my body making it jerk between my legs and the rasp of it against my bare mound has a moan escaping me into the darkening room. I shove the pillow away in shock at the sensation I’ve never felt before and stare wide-eyed at the wall.
What the heck was that? The dream has the heat of embarrassment filling my face but it’s the low ache between my legs that has me completely confused. It’s never, never felt like this before and I don’t know what it means. I roll slowly onto my back and take stock of my body. My breasts are achy like when I’m about to get my period. My hands come up to cup them gently but when my fingers brush over the sensitive peaks, a soft gasp leaves my parted lips at the way the feeling pulls at the ache between my legs. Like it has a will of its own, my hand slides down over my naked stomach and gently cups my mound. My mouth drops open when I feel how…wet…I am.
Something’s different. I’ve never felt this way before. The pressure from my hand feels…good between my legs and it startles me so much that I press down causing a flare of heat to clench and another gasp to fly from my lips. I lay there staring up at the ceiling trying to understand what’s happening to my body because more than anything, I want to keep pressing between my legs. I want to feel that feeling again.
An image of Ryker’s big hand between my legs has me jerking against my fingers and one slips inside of me, making my eyes almost roll back in my head from how good that feels. Oh my God! The slightest movement from the finger inside me has my hips lifting against it, wanting more. I slide my finger against the sensitive wet heat and bite back a moan. I’ve never masturbated before and now I’m wondering why if this is what it feels like. I could never understand the big deal.
I had been nervous but excited on my wedding night. Ready to finally experience what all the girls at school had whispered about but it ended up being incredibly painful. Thankfully, it was a brief experience that didn’t last very long. Later, it became another punishment he could use to hurt me.
Heat builds the more I move my finger, especially in a certain area. My breathing picks up as my muscles tighten in a delicious way and I feel like something’s getting closer, something…
Chloe’s high pitch squeal of glee from somewhere out in the house has me snatching my hand away from that part of me as guilt and a hint of shame flush my heated skin. What am I doing? I roll from the bed and look frantically at the bedside clock, groaning at the time. Darn it! I overslept, I need to get dinner going!
I push aside the frustrating feelings coursing through my body and ignore the ache between my legs as I quickly get dressed. I duck into the bathroom to wash my hands, soaping my fingers like I can wash away the guilt of what I had been doing. I shove all thoughts of the new feelings in my body aside to tame my hair and splash cold water on my face.
I can’t believe I slept away the afternoon and all my duties that they’re paying me for as well as my responsibilities as a mother. All the looseness from the hot tub and nap go away as tension tightens my muscles at how careless I was. I need to be more careful, more mindful of…Ryker’s big hand between my legs flashes through my mind from the dream and I almost choke on my own saliva. Good God, Avery! Get it together!
I turn away from my reflection and the deep blush staining my cheeks and race out of the rooms and down the hall. I fly into the open space between the kitchen and living room and my eyes lock onto my daughter.
My steps slow and come to a stop when I take in what she’s wearing. She’s got a princess costume over her school uniform, a plastic tiara on her head, and fairy wings on her back over top of what I think is a satiny red superhero cape. It’s an interesting mash-up but what really makes me pause is the bandolier of nerf gun bullets crossing her chest, the nerf gun in her hand, and…is that tin foil covering her cast?
I try and stifle my laugh as I ask, “What are you doing, goose?”
She sends me a cagey grin. “I’m playin’ with the boys, Mama!”
I look around with my eyebrows raised. “What boys?”
Movement catches my eye and I turn toward the couch and see Kanga pop up from the other side. The dog has a sparkly purple feather boa wrapped around his neck and a headband with rainbow-colored balls bouncing on springs anchored behind his ears. He also has the biggest doggy grin I’ve ever seen on his face. I bark out a strangled laugh and shoot Chloe a big-eyed look.
“Baby! Did you ask Ryker if you could dress up his dog? He might not like that!”
The sound of a throat clearing has me turning back to the couch as Ryker slowly raises himself from where he must have been hiding. The higher he goes, the more he’s revealed, the bigger my eyes get.
