My breaths were coming heavy as my heels slammed against the pavement, and I rounded the corner toward the new condo building Eastshore had built last year as some sort of compromise between the residents who wanted a bunch of tourist traffic and those who wanted the island to stay the same. The cool air meant I wasn’t dripping with sweat, but my T-shirt was sticking to my back, and my hair was likely as wild as my eyes.
I took the stairs up to the fifth floor, and I took them three at a time.
It was only when I stood there, fist raised to bang on Garrak’s door, that I managed to drag some control back from myKteerand remind myself that it was first thing in the fucking morning, and there were people sleeping all around me.
My knock was quieter than it otherwise would have been.
It took three knocks before my keen hearing picked up the sound of Garrak’s grumbling coming closer. He was usually up early, but I must have interrupted his morning shower or something. For a moment I felt a spark of guilt…before myKteergrabbed a hold of my conscience once more.
When my brother—yep, he’d definitely been showering, and hadn’t taken the time to dry off, judging by how his pajama pants stuck to his wet skin—finally opened the door, I pushed my way past him. “Finally.” I hadn’t meant to growl that, but I couldn’t seem to control myself. “I’m sorry.” I wasn’t making any sense. “Shouldn’t have bothered you so early.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” Garrak dragged a hand through his still-wet hair as he padded toward the kitchen. “Want something to eat?”
“Not hungry,” I managed as I paced.
His only response was a grunt from where he stood in front of the stove, and again, I felt a surge of guilt at bothering him this early in the morning, even if it had been a good bet he’d already been awake. But I couldn’tseem to slow down, tothink, to figure out what was wrong. So I paced as he yawned and scratched his ass through his flannel pants and stretched.
Whenever he stepped, the bottom of the pants swished aside to reveal the shiny titanium of his artificial leg, and I hated that he’d had to take the time to strap it on for me. The time after that accident, the one that had devastated the company in more than one way, had been horrible. I’d known he would survive—he was too strong to succumb to something stupid like three tons of rocks falling on him—but it had been painful to watch him learn to walk again.
I realized I was staring. I also realized this was the first time I’d been trulystillsince…since last night.
Before myKteercould growl in my chest and send me pacing again in agitation, Garrak was there with a steaming mug. When he thrust it at me, and I instinctively took it, I realized it wasn’t the usual coffee he drank, but chaga tea.
The achingly familiar aroma filled my nostrils, and I felt myself beginning to relax as I inhaled. “Your mother used to make this for me.”
Garrak watched me through the steam of his own mug. “She was your mom too.”
“Yeah.” When I exhaled, I felt even more of the tension leaving me, and I sipped the tea.Ah. The familiar warmth and earthiness spread through my limbs. “I miss her.”
“Me too.” He was studying me with a slight twist of his lips. “She would’ve loved Eastshore—not the lack ofsnow, but seeing so many of our people here.” He nodded as he used his tea to give a little salute. “And it’s a fucking shame she can’t be here to see you like this.”
I shook my head and gulped more tea. “Like what? Agitated? Confused? I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Garrak!”
He didn’t offer me any insight. “What happened last night?”
With the mushroom tea anchoring me, at least I no longer felt the need to pace. I wrapped my hands around the mug, forcing myself to keep my breaths even and deep. “I kissed her,” I managed. “I kissed Brooke.”
Kiss.
That wasn’t a strong enough word for what I’d done. That guilt was creeping back, and I looked up to meet Garrak’s nonjudgmental gaze.
“She pushed me away,” I whispered. “I kissed her, and she kissed me back, but then she pushed me away.”
My brother hummed and sipped his tea. His nonchalance rubbed at me, the same as that itch I’d been feeling this past week. I found myself clawing at the front of my shirt as my sweat dried, trying to dig into my chest and find this irritation.
“Why did she push me away?” I hated how plaintive my rasp sounded. “Why do I feel like I’m going to tear myself apart from the inside?” I met Garrak’s dark gaze in desperation. “What’s happening to me?”
“I don’t know why she pushed you away,T’mak…” Garrak wasn’t the only one to call meLittle Brother, but hewas the only one who didn’t piss me off when he did so. Now he crossed to me and clasped me on the shoulder with the hand not holding the mug. “But you need to figure it out.”
“Why?” I croaked.
“Because.” His grin was crooked as he tipped his head to one side. “This is the Mating Heat. Your eyes are glowing, yourKteeris trying to control everything you do, and until you claim her, you’re not going to be able to concentrate.”
I think I’d stopped paying attention after the word Heat.
“Mate?” I blurted, then shook my head, not caring when the tea dribbled onto my shirt. “I just met Brooke! She can’t be my Mate.”
Garrak shrugged and squeezed my shoulder. “Mom used to say it could be sudden—that’s how it was with her and my father, gods keep him.” His grin flashed again. “She always wanted grand-kitlings and would be thrilled to hear this.”
