“Because it’s the wrong girl,” Beau says matter-of-factly.
“Yeah. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about that.”
“Listen. Take the weekend. Clear your head. Shit, go back to Willowbrook. Spend the weekend with your girl and come back refreshed and see what you think.”
As much as I want to see her, I don’t want to go for a weekend and leave again. It will only make this harder. “No, I’m not doing that. I just want to finish this so I can get back to her for more than a weekend.”
“So you’re gonna try to force something to happen with this when you don’t even feel like it’s the right thing?” He quirks an eyebrow and lowers his leg, resting his forearms on his thighs, staring at me like he does when he thinks my ideas are stupid.
“Like you said, it’s a waste of money?—”
“It is, but if you can’t live with it, let’s just do it.”
I stare at the screen and figure maybe I can make this work. Just so I can get back to her and not spend another couple million.
“All right.” He stands. “Well, I’m leaving for the night. I suggest you do the same. I’ll see you back at the house.”
“Yeah. All right.”
He leaves with a clap on my shoulder. I don’t suspect he’ll be home when I get to the house we rented because he’s been gone every night we’ve been here. I haven’t asked where he’s been going. If he wanted me to know, he’d tell me.
I stare at the clip I’m supposed to edit. I think I can do this. We have some solos of me in the barn. I can’t cut Zara out completely, but I can probably do enough to make it work.
But as soon as I think it, I spot Romy in the background on a shot that’s not meant for the video, and she’s laughing at something Beau said. My insides feel as if they’ve split in two.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I grab my phone. It’s late, but she picks up on the second ring. It’s dark, but I can make out that she’s lying in bed.
“Hey.” Her voice is soft, a little scratchy.
“Did I wake you?”
“No,” she says. But she’s not nearly as convincing as she hopes.
I shut my eyes, imagining her alone in her big bed. “I think it might be a little longer. I need more time with the video.”
There’s a pause and a quiet, “Oh.”
The weight of that one word layers on the guilt.
“You don’t sound thrilled.” I try for a light tone that I know neither of us feels.
“No. It’s fine. I understand. You know I understand. It’s just… the ranch feels so empty.”
“Without me?”
“Beau… and the crew.” She chuckles.
I grip my phone tighter, my knuckles aching. I want to crawl through the line and slip into bed with her and press my face into her hair, smell her, and remind myself that she’s who I’m doing this for.
“I’m just kidding. It’s you. It’s lonely here without you.”
“It’s lonely here without you.” I try to push away all the emotion clogging my throat. I change the subject from longing because that’s not going to change. “Show me.”
She laughs softly. “Show you what?”
“You know.”
She makes a sound. There’s a shuffle, then suddenly the camera flips, and I see her curled on her bed. She flips on a lamp, and I catch her tired eyes. She adjusts the phone, angling it toward her tummy, and the air gets sucked out of my lungs.
