She swallows, looking at her hand over my heart. Then she looks away, rolls onto her back, and stares at the ceiling. “I want us too. But what does this mean?”
I let out a breath. “I thought I was pretty clear last night that I want you.”
She turns on her side, her lips curving. “I know you want me, and I want you. But there’s a lot that makes it complicated, Zander. Like… how do I get out of this room? Are you going to order breakfast for two? That’ll invite gossip. At some point, we have to figure out what we want people to know.” I open my mouth, but she continues. “I don’t want to be sneaking in and out of your life. If this is going to work, I need to be part of it.”
I chuckle, and she narrows her eyes. “What?”
I slide her toward me. “Can I talk now?”
“Sure.”
I nuzzle my head into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent, and as always, it makes me feel centered. “I want that too. I want it more than anything.” I nod. “So, I say we order room service… for two people.” I draw back to look into her eyes. “Or if you want to make a real statement, you get dressed in last night’s clothes, and I’ll escort you into that dining room holding my hand.”
She smacks my arm, but her eyes sparkle. I want to tell her I want that. I want the entire world to know she’s mine. It’s not my confidence in us holding me back but my worries that once she experiences everything that comes along with me, she won’t want it.
“My god, can you imagine? Beau would go ballistic.” She laughs as I kiss the hollow of her throat.
“I don’t care,” I murmur along her skin. “Beau is hired to consider my best interests, and he’s done a damn good job of it all these years. But now…” I pause, softening. “I love him for it, but you’re right—in order for this to work, I can’t hide you away in a closet.”
“I don’t mind as long as you’re in it with me.” Her hands run up and down my back.
“Oh, if I had you in that closet again…” I slide my thigh between her legs, and she sighs.
“Damn, Romy.”
I apply pressure to her core with my thigh, and she grinds against it. It would be so easy to let this conversation die and have her again, but I want this all out on the table before we move forward.
“I need something from you.”
She leans back and stares into my eyes. “You know, you’re asking for a lot. Carrying your baby, sneaking you off to town, now what?”
I place my hand on her stomach, enjoying the liberty of being able to do that at any time now. Her laughter dies, sensing this is serious.
“I don’t want the pregnancy to come out yet. Not because I don’t want the whole world to know you’re carrying my baby, or even that I’m having a baby. I wish I could scream it to everyone I know. But, Romy, if this gets out, you have no idea how much your life will change. And you shouldn’t have that stress on you when you’re pregnant. So, let’s… I’m happy to come out as a couple, but let’s keep the baby under wraps a little longer. It will only make the attention you’re already going to get that much worse.”
She stares at me long and hard, and I worry this could be a sticking point for her. She’s not the type of person to keep secrets, but if she’s going to make it in my life, she has to learn. “Okay, but we’re safe here on the ranch, right?”
She’s so innocent, and it makes me love her even more. I hate that I’ll probably taint that side of her over time. One day she’s going to learn that being with me is so much stress, and she might not think it’s worth it in the end.
“I don’t know, Romy. I mean, we hope so. They all signed paperwork. I trust my crew for the most part. Nothing’s come out yet, and I’m pretty sure people see that something is going on between us, but you never know. You can never be too sure. I just really want us to be careful, okay?”
She nods. “But as far as us, we can…”
I laugh. “Yeah, definitely.”
“So that means you’re going to order room service for two?” There’s such a hopeful expression on her face that if I were standing, it would bring me to my knees.
“If that’s okay with you.”
She bites her lower lip and nods. “Yeah.”
“And you’re okay with your family knowing we’re together?”
She laughs and falls against me, her arms winding around my neck, her bare breasts pressing to my chest. “Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because I’m the bastard who pushed you away.”
She shakes her head. “If you want us to move forward, Zander, you need to stop feeling guilty for that. Yeah, it was terrible, but it’s in the past. So now we start fresh.”
