Zander and I walk down the hill from The Knotted Barn toward The Perfect Petal to pick out flowers. Finally, Delaney and Poppy have time to sit with us and go over everything. The store might not be open to the public at the moment, but they still have customers calling in orders and still have all the landscaping projects for clients to deal with.
The conversation at my parents’ house went fairly well—although I can tell that my parents are a little perturbed they can’t share this news with my entire family.
I’m not even sure Zander fully understands what it’s like to try to keep a secret from my family because, unfortunately, he hasn’t had the blessing of a family that has his back.
I understand my nieces to a certain extent. They’re young, impulsive, and adults can easily manipulate them and get them to spill. So maybe waiting until I start showing makes sense. Although I want to share this with them. I want them to want to feel my stomach and talk about their new cousin. But it’s okay. I’m going to let this go. This is part of what it means to be having Zander’s baby.
“So, what were you thinking flower-wise?” Zander asks, cutting into my spiraling thoughts.
“I don’t know. Honestly, Delaney is so good with flowers. She’s going to know exactly what you’re looking for just from you describing it. She’s great at putting different combinations together.”
“She seemed really nice at dinner the other night.”
“Yeah, she’s really sweet. She lived in town a long time ago. She and Bennett were high school sweethearts and then parted, came together again, parted, and what you’re witnessing now is the getting back together again. It’s a long, tangled story.”
He nods, and I can tell he’s listening, but he looks as though his mind is somewhere else. “I’d like to see Willowbrook. I’ve barely set foot outside this ranch since I got here.”
I glance at him. He’s in his typical black jeans, black T-shirt. He’d be like a walking neon sign if I took him downtown right now.
“Would you really want to get off the ranch? Everybody knows you’re here, and I’m sure there are press just waiting to snap a picture of you.”
I’d love the opportunity to show him around my town. To take him to Laurel’s bakery or The Sprout House for the best chicken sandwich he’s ever had. I could make him try a cheeseburger pizza.
“Beau would blow his gasket if I told him I was going into town. He’d give me every reason in the book why I shouldn’t. But there’s still a part of me that wants to. This ranch is amazing, but I’m feeling a little cooped up.”
“I can imagine.”
He side-eyes me. “You understand that it’s the life you’re gonna get, right?”
“I know.” I do. Maybe Beau thinks I’m naïve about it, but I know it won’t be easy. “I mean, sure, I understand our baby will be stuck in the limelight, and people will follow them. God forbid, I hope he or she doesn’t want a music career.”
Zander laughs. “Shit, I hate that. When people just assume the kid of a sports star is supposed to come out of the womb already throwing one hundred miles per hour.”
“I definitely don’t want those expectations on our child.”
He looks at the land to our right, an open field of flowers. “I’m happy our child will grow up here. I would’ve loved to. It must’ve been amazing.”
I can’t help but smile. “It was. All of this wasn’t always here. My parents built this part. But my Uncle Bruce and the cattle ranch, that’s been in my family forever. Then we had all this vacant land, and my mom and Aunt Bette wanted to stake their claim on their own piece of the property, because back in the day, only the son got everything.”
“Right.” He rocks his head back. “Old school.”
I nod. “Everything was left to Uncle Bruce. But my parents, when they moved here, built their part. The Knotted Barn and The Getaway Lodge are theirs. The flower shop is Poppy and Bennett’s—they started that. The Harvest Depot is my parents’, and the vineyard is Aunt Bette’s and Uncle Wade’s.”
“It’s beautiful here.” There’s longing in his tone.
“Yeah, it was a lot of fun growing up here.”
“You always had a playmate.” He nudges me gently with his shoulder.
“That’s good and bad though. I probably fought with my cousins like siblings. But I’m grateful for that childhood, and I want my child to have the same.”
He turns to me, and our eyes lock. We pause just before the parking lot of The Perfect Petal. It’s another question for us to find an answer to. What will our kid’s future look like? We haven’t discussed it, but I think we both know our child will grow up here. But will they also split time with Zander on the road? The thought of missing holidays with him or her is already agony.
So, I push away the thought. We’re not there yet.
“Well, let’s go pick out some flowers.” I motion toward the building.
His lips slowly tip, but then he faces the shop, and we cross the parking lot.
