Guilt tugs at my gut. I’d never want him to worry about me, but my guilt tangles with the anger of feeling like a caged-up animal. “I’m sorry, my phone is on vibrate in my purse. I just went to buy souvenirs for Wren and Leia, not to run off to join the circus.”
His eyes flash, and the storm there gets a little darker. “You think this is a joke?” he says incredulously. “If one person recognized you… one picture. That’s all it takes for them to rip you apart. To rip our baby apart.”
My chest caves at the word our, but my anger doesn’t abate. I cross the room and toss the bag on the couch. “I can’t live like this! I can’t be locked in a room like your dirty little secret you get to play with whenever you get time.”
He blinks, looking stunned for a beat. “This isn’t about keeping you a secret.”
“Yes, it is.” My voice cracks. “You don’t trust anyone to know about us unless it’s on your terms. And I just can’t do it, Zander. I can’t do this if you’re going to hide us all the time.” I push out my stomach for emphasis.
His face twists as if I stabbed him in the heart. “You don’t understand. I’ve lived this life a long time, you haven’t. You don’t know?—”
I throw up my hands. “Then make me understand.”
The air between us is electric and charged with everything we’ve been keeping in during this time on the road. His mouth opens to argue again, so I cut him off, making sure it’s all out there.
“Someone got a picture of me.”
A flash of panic crosses his face. “What?”
“I’m sorry. I was in the store, and I got overheated. I thought I was going to pass out.”
“This is what I’m telling you. You shouldn’t be out there in the first place.” Desperation lines his face.
I hate that I’m the person who put it there, but we’re going to get nowhere by ignoring the problem here. “Will you just listen to me for a second?”
He huffs and sits, then stands again.
“I was overheated. I unbuttoned my jacket, and… and the guy was across the street. I didn’t see him. I looked around before I did it.”
“See, Romy? They’re everywhere. They are everywhere. You cannot… this is why you need to stay in the hotel room.”
“I can’t be in the hotel room anymore! I’m losing my mind!” Tears of frustration prick at my eyes.
He swears under his breath, pacing across the room. “Fucking hell. I told you—one picture is all it takes. They’re going to be on you like vultures now. You think this feels like a prison? Just wait until you find out that you can’t even walk on the—hell, you can’t do anything. Anything, Romy! Now they’re going to be all over you. All over the ranch. All over the baby. Your entire life just blew up.”
Beep.
A keycard swipes at the door, and Beau comes in with a concerned look, shutting the door behind him. “What the fuck is going on? You guys can’t be heard screaming at each other. You want even more rumors to come out?”
Zander throws his arm out, not even looking at Beau. “Get the fuck out, Beau. Right now.” His voice is as sharp as broken glass.
I turn to Beau. “I went out to get Leia and Wren souvenirs. Somebody got a picture of me.”
Beau looks me up and down. “Are you sure they knew it was you?”
I nod. “Yeah. He knew.”
His gaze falls to my exposed stomach. “Shit. All right. I’ll handle it. I’m on it now. I’ll try to squash it before it gets any legs. Maybe we can buy it before someone else does.”
I raise my hand. “No.”
“Romy, let the man do his job,” Zander grits out.
“No. I don’t want to keep being a secret. I don’t want to hide in a hotel room for hours on end and go from town to town and not see one goddamn landmark anymore.” I look at Zander, wishing he’d look at me, but he keeps his gaze anywhere but on me. “Zander, I can’t do this anymore.”
I don’t know if it’s what I said, but Beau looks at me—and I can see it in his face. He knew this would happen. That this would become a breaking point.
I’ve gone along to get along, but I’m taking control of my own damn life now. I’ll suffer the repercussions of it, and I know Zander will too. And for that, I’m sorry. But I cannot keep doing this.
