Jonah felt that at least entitled him to use the guy as a case study, to hell with client confidentiality. This had been a tough crowd to crack, so by any means necessary. And the payoff was sweet – fist bumps and high fives from the kids and a chorus of “Thanks, Mister Jonah!” could be heard as they lined up for gym class.
“That was…” Julie ventured, after she had thanked and sent the other career guests off.
“Totally awesome and you’re in awe of my awesomeness…and in my debt for eternity?”
The She-EO had even slipped Jonah her business card, ruffling her blonde bob and echoing her son’s question of helping do her taxes. Although her tone had implied doing far more…familiar things.
And the zookeeper had invited him out for coffee, after offering to let him pet her bearded dragon – which he hoped wasn’t code for something. In exchange for more dirt on Avi, no doubt. He’d politely declined.
Jonah had no trouble getting dates, but sometimes wondered how many were because he had a famous wingman.
“I’ll buy you a coffee later, and we can call it even, how’s that?”
“Sorry, Jules. Gotta pick up Avi and Leah at the airport.” Speaking of that particular handsome devil. “Raincheck?”
“Of course. I forgot it was Baller week.”
His sister clutched her stomach at the thought of rolling around the New York waterway after consuming decadent Jewish cuisine – and top shelf booze – for the better part of eight hours. But for Jonah, the Matzo Baller Hanukkah harbor cruise was a homecoming he looked forward to every December.
“Say hi for me. I can’t believe Avi has been locked down. And Jay too? You’re the last eligible bachelor.” Julie brushed imaginary dust from his jacket lapels, fussing over him.
“You’re forgetting Eli.”
It was anyone’s guess about Eli Gold’s whereabouts and his love life most days. All Jonah knew was that their larger-than-life friend had sent his regrets early this year, missing their found-family reunion on the boat yet again. “But yeah, I’m pretty much the last mensch standing.”
The girls in his gang were well on their way to happily hooking up, too. Jonah wouldn’t be surprised if Nora and Beck, or Talia and Asher for that matter, began filing jointly by next tax season.
“Well, JoJo. Maybe this will be your year, aboard…the love boat!” Julie warbled. GiGi and Bap, as they called their parents around Avery, had not only forced stable careers on them, but also their love of nostalgia TV.
“Don’t hold your breath…or quit your day job, sis.” Jonah plugged his ears to spare himself from any additional off-key crooning. Until he felt a persistent tug at his elbow.
“Sophie!” His sister admonished. “Why aren’t you in gym class with the other students?”
The little girl who had pulled at Jonah’s suit jacket shrunk back, eyes wide. “I’m sorry, Ms. Klein. I just had a question, but…” She looked over at the rows of desks and dropped her voice. “It’s stupid. I didn’t want the others to tease me if I asked it during class.”
Jonah crouched to her eye level, so he’d be less intimidating. “My mom’s a librarian and she always says there’s no such thing as a stupid question. So this is a no-tease zone, I promise.”
Julie nodded, backing him up.
“Do you know…Rosie, from Room to Bloom?”
Wow, talk about nostalgia. The throwback sitcom brought up instant memories of staying home sick from school and eating Cup O’ Noodles, wrapped in the blanket his grandma (the original GiGi) had made him for Hanukkah that she called her “afghan’t” (as in “I can’t crochet a decent afghan to save my life.”)
Jonah had loved Room to Bloom because it was the first TV show where he’d ever seen Jewish rep so proudly on display, and could relate to growing up the youngest in a house full of siblings of the opposite gender…like he had, being the only boy with so many older sisters. And since he was the same age as the main character Rosie, he’d felt like they had grown up together. Her on-screen Bat Mitzvah had even coincided with his own call to Torah.
He had totally crushed on Bat Mitzvah-era Rosie Bloom.
“See? I told you it was stupid.” The girl pulled her sleeves over her hands, frowning.
“No, no,” Jonah was quick to assure. “I just…I haven’t thought about that show in a long time.”
Or Rosie Bloom, who had given him such a hard-on under that blanket as the years went by and the on-screen personality bloomed before his adolescent eyes.
“My mom…we don’t have cable,” Sophie mumbled. “But we have old DVDs.”
“It was one of our favorite shows, too.” Julie smiled down at her student.
True, after they had had their fill of suffering on the Prairie, or the high seas cheesiness of what was pretty much 70s Tinder on a cruise ship, the Klein kids would tune into something from their own era. Room to Bloom was something they could all agree on.
