Kara smiled and waved a hand. “I’ll send a pic, I promise. And no way. With my twin and my beloved as my two best friends? I’m not nervous, I’m the luckiest.” She reached out and gave Tzipi’s hand a squeeze. “Now, time to accessorize you.”
Shoes, jewelry, purse and coat…it was like walking onto the Room to Bloom set and knowing that professionals had taken care of all the wardrobe details. Everything vetted, perfectly fitted. You just had to focus on your role. When they were younger, the Solokoff sisters delighted in finding identical neon ruffle skirts, matching butterfly clips for their hair, and even the same light-up sneakers that their parents would never buy for back-to-school. Looking back, they were a walking advertisement for mall fashion, but at the time, it was pretty magical.
Now, Kara had recreated an adult version in the hotel closet. And all Tzipi had to do was show up and not flub her lines.
While it wasn’t customary to make wishes over Hanukkah candles, since it didn’t involve blowing them out to seal the deal, Tzipi broke tradition and wished. Her lips murmured the Hebrew while her mind raced, in English, a hundred miles per hour. One silent plea for each candle.
Please let them get to Hawaii for the most beautiful wedding.
Please let everyone think I am Kara.
Please get me through eight hours trapped on a boat.
Please get them home from Hawaii so I can go back to my old life.
Chapter Six
If last one to the boat was a rotten egg, Jonah was the freshest Grade A in the carton.
He loved boarding the ship in broad daylight to truly appreciate the massiveness of it, before Jay’s sold out crowd made the Matzo Baller the intimate extravaganza it was, year after successful year. It was also a time to marvel at the undertaking his good friend called his livelihood. Jay Katz was the embodiment of “never let ‘em see you sweat” balanced with “always leave them wanting more.” Each year the demand grew, along with the wow factor.
But right now, the decks were empty except for the giant menorah waiting. Jonah’s heavy footsteps thundered up the gangplank like a round of applause for the sparse crew of nimble workers aboard. They moved through the interior sections; laying tablecloths, rolling out heat lamps. Bars were being stocked and sound systems tested. Jonah nodded to a security guard, waved to Jay’s site decorator, Beth.
“Whoa, look at this rock star.”
Avi descended an exterior set of stairs, slow-clapping. In his tux as well, but that was his look every year. “Monte Carlo memories! Looking sharp, Jo.”
Jonah grinned, arms at his side with palms up as Avi circled him. “Hair, tamed. Side burns and neck beard…under control. Contacts?”
“For now.” He tapped his breast pocket, where he kept his trusty hornrims. His eyes had a love-hate relationship with disposable lenses, but he was willing to try. “And look at you, early bird. Did you accidentally set your sundown alarm for AM and not PM?”
“Har, har.” The group’s most devoted Shabbat observer raised a rogue brow. Avi bent a few rules, especially once Jay had established the Baller’s “first-Friday-of-Hanukkah” tradition. And he’d made up an entirely different set of others, once Painted Doors started touring the world. Singing wasn’t work; it was a calling, and he had made peace with welcoming the Sabbath in his own special way. “I’m atoning for last year. Plus, Leah went to Talia’s to get ready with her and Nora, so I figured I might as well get here sooner rather than later. Missed the entire gauntlet.”
He nodded toward the pier entrance, where TV crews and other media were beginning to set up. It was the closest Jay would allow. He didn’t give out press passes for any outlet to board the boat, no exceptions. Not even his mother’s favorite Hadassah Magazine. The only professional photographer allowed was Sylvie, for obvious reasons. And that was mostly just to document their immediate friend circle and epic shit aboard.
Luckily, his epic faceplant hadn’t made it onto her camera roll last year. She and Avi had been too busy breaking up for good at the time. Now, Jonah wondered, without Sylvie on board, who would take the annual OG Baller photo that inevitably ended up in their group chat well after midnight?
Jay materialized; he was seemingly everywhere and nowhere all at once on Baller Day. “Perfect, you’re both early.” He rubbed his hands together. “Got a job for –” He looked Jonah up and down. “Damn, son. You cleaning up your act?”
Jonah merely ran a hand through his groomed curls in response and grinned. If he was gonna get the ribbing all night, he may as well space out the witty comebacks.
“Come’re, come’re.” Jay motioned them into a small side room, where a table had what looked like a set of mini walkie-talkies on them. But there were also little molded pieces of silicon with clear tubes coming out of them, and tiny foam balls on clips lying next to them.
“IFBs.” He doled them out like a Vegas poker dealer. “Interruptible feedback, as they say in the biz.” Jay tapped his own pack to demonstrate, and slipped on a small headset.
Avi seemed to know just what to do, clipping the wireless receiver onto his belt under his tux coat and pushing his long hair out of the way to slide the silicon ear piece in place. “Just like my in-ear monitors on stage,” he explained. Jonah mimicked his friend’s movements, and heard Beck crackling through his earpiece from somewhere unseen.
“So, why are we going all ‘secret service’ this year?”
Jay affixed the tiny black microphones to each of their tux lapels. “Because it’s a really big boat,” he addressed Beck to the benefit of all of them. “And there’s a very small…something that Asher wants to give to Talia before night’s end.”
“Dick or ring?” Avi was standing close enough for the wisecrack to echo.
“Small? Who you callin’ small?” Asher practically blew out their eardrums, from somewhere on the boat. “It’s an impressive carat size, asshole.”
“Guys, you’re breaking up.” Beck came through with a bit of static on his end. “Press…your carrot where?”
“It’s a ring, and it needs to end up on Talia’s finger, top deck, at midnight tonight.” Jay cut to the chase. “We need to be Asher’s eyes and ears. And help wrangle her, if need be.”
