Her eyes went wide with delight at what I’d inadvertently just revealed, and she actually clapped her hands together like akid on Christmas morning. “Oh my god, you did! You bought me a vibrator or something, didn’t you?”
“Stella—”
“What is it? A rabbit? One of those app-controlled ones where you can operate it from anywhere?” She was practically bouncing now, and I had to force myself to focus on her face. “Oh my god, is it a butt plug? Please tell me it’s a butt plug.”
My brain short-circuited, and I had to force myself to swallow. “You’d want that?”
“Yeah.” She leaned in, her voice dropping to that low, sultry register that always undid me. “I’d be really into that. Into a lot of things, actually, if you wanted to try them.”
Images flooded my mind—Stella on her hands and knees with a plug in her ass while I fucked her. Her hands tied to the headboard, completely at my mercy. And then, surprisingly: Stella with a strap-on, asking if I was ready.
That last image surprised me. I’d never really thought about doing anything like that before, but the idea of letting Stella take control, of being that vulnerable with her, of finally finding out what all that prostate fuss was about?—
My dick, already half-hard, responded enthusiastically to that mental image.
“We can definitely talk about that later,” I managed, my voice coming out rough as I shifted to hide my growing erection. “All of it. But that’s … um, not the gift I meant. The other one is … it’s downstairs in my truck. Can I go get it?”
“Now?”
“Yeah. If that’s okay.” I was going to freeze my balls off out there, but if I didn’t do this now, I didn’t know if I’d work up the nerve again anytime soon.
She studied me for a second, the expression on her face telling me she thought I’d lost my mind. But then she nodded and said, “Yeah, okay. Go get your mystery gift.”
I kissed her quickly, then rolled out of bed and pulled on my jeans. They were stiff and cold from sitting on the floor all night, and I had to hop around on one foot to get them on. “I’ll be right back,” I said, grabbing my thermal and pulling it on over my head.
“I’ll be here. Naked and waiting."
I groaned. “You’re trying to kill me, woman.”
“Maybe a little.”
Ice crunchedunder my boots as I made my way down the street to where my truck was parked. Everything around me was eerily quiet, muffled by the layer of ice as far as the eye could see. Even the usually busy street was empty, folks smart enough to stay inside on Christmas Eve.
I had to chip away at the frozen door handle with my keys before I could get the truck open. My fingers were already going numb, and I cursed myself for not grabbing gloves on my way out.
The small wrapped box was in the glove compartment where I’d stashed it a couple of days ago. I’d been carrying it around with me since I was twenty-three, waiting for the right moment. Waiting for Stella to see me the way I’d always seen her. Waiting for a sign that maybe she could feel the same way.
And now that she finally had, I was terrified that she’d think it was too much, too soon. Terrified she’d see it as pressure or an ultimatum.
But it wasn’t an engagement ring. Not yet. It was a promise. A piece of my history—my family—that I wanted her to have.
I tucked the box into my pocket and headed back inside, my teeth chattering by the time I reached the warmth of the stairwell.
Stella was sitting up in bed when I returned, the blanket pooled around her waist, leaving her bare from the hips up. She’d arranged her hair into something somewhat orderly. “That was fast,” she said.
“It’s fucking freezing out there. I think my balls actually retreated into my body.” I shrugged out of my jacket and pulled the box from my pocket, my fingers still clumsy from the cold. “Here.”
Her eyes dropped to the small square box in my hand—unmistakably jewelry-sized—and all the color drained from her face.
“Um, Cade.”
“It’s not what you think,” I rushed to assure her, plopping down on the edge of her bed, my heart hammering so hard I could feel it in my throat. “Obviously it’s a ring, but it’s not …I’m not proposing, Stella. Not yet, anyway.”
Her shoulders, which had climbed up around her ears, dropped half an inch—then tensed right back up. “Not yet?”
“Look, I fully intend to marry you someday,” I said, meaning every word. “But I know we’re not there right now. This—” I dipped my chin toward my hand “— is something else.”
She stared at the box like it was a ticking time bomb, her throat working as she swallowed. She pulled one long breath in, then pushed it out again, over and over, like she was trying to steady herself.
