“Earth to Deacon,” Dad said, waving his hand in front of my face.
Oh.
“Sorry. What were you saying?”
Dad rolled his eyes, smiling. “I said we’re done here. I’llstay and finalize some orders and do one final check on the patients before I come back later this afternoon.” He shooed me toward the door. “You need to go. I hope you’re more helpful at the bookstore than you’ve been here.”
I winced. “I’m distracted, sorry.” We’d stopped by the clinic to check on the overnight patients. Even though we were closed barring emergencies, we still needed to provide care.
Dad put the folder on the counter and leaned against it and gave me a smile I couldn’t quite place. “You know, Deac, it’s okay if you want to take some time off work.”
“What?” I was not expecting this.What did he mean?“Why would I want to take time off? Are you saying you’re not happy with my work? I know I’ve been distracted, but I can?—”
He put his hand up, still smiling. “No, no, Deac, not at all. I didn’t mean anything bad by it. I’m just...” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I’m not very good at talking about this. It’s more your mom’s forte.”
“Talking about what?”
“About most things.” He smiled at the floor. “You know, when we found out we were having you, I freaked out. I was not ready. Your mom took it all in stride, the way she does everything, but I... I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. But jeez, we lucked out with you.”
Lucked out?
He smiled fondly at me. “You were the perfect baby. Slept, ate, rarely cried. You were a great kid: super smart, inquisitive, always reading. Never argued, never put a toe out of line. Even at college, never did drugs or alcohol. During veterinary school, clinicals, and residency, you easily managed the rigorous courseload. And now, as an employee, you’re pretty damn perfect. Since you’ve started here, you’ve never missed a day. Not one sick day, not oneholiday. You’ve done every single thing I’ve ever asked and never complained. Not once.”
I wasn’t sure why he was telling me this. “Dad, why... why are you saying this? If I did something wrong, just tell me.”
He shook his head. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m proud of you. Notjustproud of your work. I know sometimes the lines can get a little blurred between work and home.” He gave me a fond smile. My favorite kind. “Deacon, I am proud of the man you have become.”
Oh.
A strange, heavy lump formed in my chest, hot and burning, and it made me want to cry.
“You’re a good man, Deac. And I’m happy for you. I’m happy that you met Winter. He’s a real nice young man. So, what I’m saying is, what the point was to this whole story, is that if you ever want to have some time off work to spend the day with Winter to go do something fun, you just have to ask, okay?”
I really wasn’t sure what to say. I still had the strange urge to cry and didn’t dare to look at him. I could barely even nod.
“Okay, enough of the sappy stuff,” he said. “It’s Christmas Eve. We should be talking about holiday cheer. And the light festival tonight is going to be fun. Your mother and I will see you there. You have a good day with Winter, okay?”
I nodded again. I did need to leave because it was almost time for the bookstore to open. I wanted to say something, a response to his kind words, to tell him that I was proud of him too, that I was lucky to be his son, but I couldn’t say the words.
I had an overwhelming supply of love and gratitude that I wasn’t quite sure what to do with. But I needed to dosomething. I had to. I needed to give it an outlet. I needed him to know.
So, I crossed the floor, and for the first time since I was a very young boy, I put my arms around my dad and hugged him. Just for a second, long enough to hear him suck back a shocked breath, before I let go and took a step back and hurried to the door.
I glanced back at him for a split second. He was stunned, his hand to his mouth, eyes teary.
I didn’t dare stop though.
I hurried to see Winter. I was so excited when I got there. He let me through the door and eyed me cautiously. “Are you... is everything okay?”
“Yes,” I said, grinning. “I hugged my dad.”
He understood the significance immediately, without me having to explain. He grabbed my coat sleeve. “Oh, wow. Deacon, I’m so happy for you.”
“He said he was proud of me, and I...” I trailed off as I noticed his sweater. It was red and white, Christmas themed, of course, with Rudolph and holly and snowflakes. “Oh, that’s...”
He laughed. “It’s my ugly Christmas sweater.”
I grimaced. “Well, I wasn’t going to use that word, but I’m glad you’re aware...”
