My afternoonwith Winnie was a sad case of me going through the motions. I tried to act completely unbothered by the fact Selene was still interviewing other caretakers, but I couldn’t shake the clawing sense of dread.
Winnie had been her usual hurricane of weirdness and wonder, but I was off my game. My jokes landed flat. My heart wasn’t in it. I was stuck in my own damn head, and the view from there wasn’t great. The minute Selene walked out of the carriage house to relieve me of my duties, I practically ran to my side of the duplex without a backward glance.
Selene barely looked at me when she came out the door. I got a smile and a quick “Thanks.”
I didn’t know what I expected. A thank-you parade? A promise she wasn’t replacing me? I needed to get a grip.
I was sullen and pouty, and I sure as hell didn’t like it.
I considered calling Brody to see whether he wanted to hang out or maybe even go to the Lantern for a few beers or to find some tourists to spin around the dance floor, but I couldn’t muster the energy. Usually the thought of a cold beer and a warm body was enough to shake off a shitty mood. Tonight it all sounded hollow.
Plus, I didn’t want to have my mood shitting all over Brody’s evening either. So instead I sulked in silence perfectly in line with the gigantic baby I was acting like.
A knock at the front door caught my attention, and I glanced at the clock. I hadn’t made that many new friends since moving to Star Harbor, and anyone I did know had my cell phone number.
So who the hell would be knocking at this time of night?
I yanked open the front door with an irritated scowl. I almost barked out “What?” before I even opened it. But then I saw her—standing there in cutoffs and confidence—and every ounce of irritation drained out through my boots.
My gaze dropped before I could stop it—those shorts should’ve been illegal. My hands twitched at my sides. Selene blinked and took a tiny step backward from the force with which I’d opened the front door.
I stopped short. “Oh, hey.” I glanced toward her place. “Everything okay with Winnie?”
Selene’s slim shoulders were set straight. She swallowed and gently cleared her throat. “Yes, perfect.” Selene’s palms swiped down the front of her denim cutoff jeans. “Things felt just a littleawkward this afternoon, I guess.” She chuckled a little at herself. “I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.”
I set my jaw. I had no intention of trauma-dumping my insecurities on Selene. “I’m fine.”
Her lips twisted and she hesitated. “Okay, so the rumor mill in Star Harbor is a strange and horrendous thing. I got wind that Helen may have told you about an interview I did today. I thought maybe because you heard about that through the grapevine and not from me, that maybe you were mad. I don’t know, it’s silly.” She bit her lip, laughed a little too loud, then winced like she wished she could take the whole speech back.
My stance widened as I strengthened my defenses and lifted my chin. “I heard about it, but figured you’re just doing what you think is best for your kid. I told you I would help out as long as you needed me.”
Selene pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, and I hated myself for imagining what those lips tasted like.
“So here’s the thing,” she continued. “I did agree to the interview, but only because Dale is an old family friend of my parents and I wanted to give his niece a fair shake. But I’ve made my decision. Winnie needs somebody who can be there for her when I can’t be. I need someone that wrangles in the chaos of our lives and is a partner, someone I can count on.” As Selene rambled, she shook her head in disbelief. Her eyes shifted to mine. “I need to have faith in the person that I let into our lives. Do you understand that?”
I nodded, and my molars ground together. I wanted to be cool. Chill. Shrug it off like it didn’t matter, but her words felt like rubbing salt in a wound I didn’t realize was still bleeding. “I understand.”
“And the thing is ...” She blew out a huff. “That person is ...”
Here it is. Prepare for the blow.
“You.”
The word landed like a fist to my sternum. One syllable. One second. And everything shifted. My throat tightened, and I prayed she couldn’t see it. Her voice sounded just as surprised as I felt. It took a few seconds for her words to register as I stared at her.
Selene exhaled sharply. “So now that’s cleared up, I don’t have to walk around feeling guilty all night. As long as you’re in?—”
“I’m in.” I didn’t even hesitate.
“Great.” Selene’s smile bloomed and my chest ached.
She turned toward her side of the duplex before pausing and looking over her shoulder, one hand cocked on her hip. “Oh, and Austin.” Her voice was like honey poured over a blade. Her long lashes swept down, then up again. “When I decide I need help touching myself, I’ll let you know.”
Stunned, I simply stared after her.
I didn’t even get to respond. Instead, I just watched her walk away and tried not to follow her, like a dog on a leash. The door clicked shut behind her and I just stood there, shell-shocked, shirtless, and hard as hell.
Jesus Christ. I am so screwed.
