Selene clearly needed help—even if she wouldn’t ask for it. I probably shouldn’t even offer any.
I wasn’t there to get involved.
I reminded myself of that as I crossed the lawn back to my place, step by step, as if distance could fix what memory wouldn’t let go.
FOUR
SELENE
The Star Harborpublic softball field was attached to our local park, so the moment my sister Elodie opened her big fat mouth in front of Winnie, asking if we wanted to watch the softball game, I knew I was trapped.
Winnie’s delighted shriek disappeared as she pounded up the stairs.
“Don’t forget bike shorts!” I called up after her. I turned to my sister. “Winnie is in a dress phase.”
Through the thin walls of the duplex, I could hear the muffled droning of a television. When it flicked off, my eyes shifted back to my sister.
“How’s it going with the new neighbor?” she asked.
I tamped down the cartwheel of emotions that fluttered low in my belly with a shrug. “It’s fine. I don’t ever see him.”
In fact, it was easy to not see someone you were actively avoiding.
Sometimes I could hear his deep, throaty laugh through the wall. It rattled through my spine like a threat.
Or a promise.
Austin’s heavy footfalls thudded around his side of the duplex, and Elodie made a face. “Sheesh.” She grimaced. “I knowyou said the walls were thin when the Jeffersons were having wild sex, but I just assumed you were being a prude.”
I shot my sister a playful snarl. The previous tenants had moved out a few months ago, and, to be honest, it had been a relief. I found it depressing that two geriatrics in their late seventies had a far more exciting and active sex life than I did.
I didn’t mean to, but over the last few days I would catch myself going still, listening to hear any movement from Austin’s side of the home.
Winnie’s tiny feet thundered down the stairs, and I caught her at the bottom with a hug. “Walking feet, please.” I set her on her toes. “Don’t forget we have a neighbor again.”
“Sorry, Mama,” Winnie said.
“Meet you there?” I asked my sister, who nodded. I hoisted my purse over my shoulder. “All right, let’s go, kid.”
I let my annoyingly attractive new neighbor slip from my mind as Winnie filled the car with conversation now that my workday had been shortened by the lack of before- and after-school care.
My brain was filled to capacity juggling being a single mom and full-time business owner.
“Mom.” She groaned my name like a full-blown teenager. “Did you hear me?”
My eyes flicked to hers in the rearview mirror. “What, sweetie?”
Winnie huffed and rolled her eyes. “Nothing.”
I fought back tears. I didn’t want her to remember me like this—stretched thin and half listening.
I hated that my stress seemed near constant at this point, and poor Winnie was catching the brunt of my distraction. I swallowed back tears as my grip tightened on the wheel. “I’m sorry, bug. I’ve just got a lot on my mind lately.” I hoped shecould understand and hear the sincerity in my voice. “I’m trying my best, I promise.”
Winnie kicked her feet and stared out the window without a response.
The Remington County Men’s Softball League played every Wednesday night. Not all the games were in Star Harbor, but we tried to attend the ones that were.
As I put my car in park, Winnie didn’t wait before she was unharnessing herself and flying out of the vehicle, running as fast as her little legs could carry her.
