“Yes, to make the Trio stronger… but Caterina will still be quite young when we wed and I don’t want the bother of children so soon.”
Doesn’t want the bother of children or doesn’t want children withme?I don’t want to be a mother at eighteen but since when do my wishes matter? No one remembers his mother or speaks of what happened to her. Will that be my fate? Panic settles around my throat and squeezes.
There’s a quiet gush of conversation on the women’s end of the table as the men make ribald jokes over Alessio’s demands until Silvio De Luca brings the table to order after another long look at his son. “Very well. I think it’s time we make this official and raise a toast then.”
Alessio rises to his feet and strides my way, making my belly flip with nerves. He does not kneel when he reaches me like the knights in my books would. He raises an eyebrow with a secret smirk as if he’s remembering my humiliation this afternoon. I have no choice but to stand. The top of my head doesn’t even reach his chin and I’m forced to tilt my head back to meet his gaze.
He takes my hand in his. It’s warm and rough compared to mine. I try my best to control my sudden trembling. He pulls an enormous diamond engagement ring out of his pants pocket and holds it up for all to see before, with no evident emotion, he slips it on my finger. The gathered witnesses clap and more wine is called for.
In the ensuing hubbub, he stares straight into my soul and rasps, “It may be two years until we marry but never doubt from this day on thatyou… are… mine.An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a bride for a brother. Till death do us part, Caterina.”
***
If Gia’s crying in her bedroom tonight, I could’ve cried with her. Instead, my father wished to leave Las Vegas as soon as possible after dinner. “The nerve of him forcing one of his men on me, trying to call the shots in my city.” The insult to his ego is all he cares about. Not me. Not at all.
The entire flight, I’m silent, pretending to sleep. But, when I see Dante waiting for us to disembark, the tears well up and spill down my cheeks without warning. I run to him like my life depends on it, leaving our parents shouting in my wake.
“Cat,” Dante murmurs with none of his usual maniacal glee. He sees the ring on my finger and sighs. “I’m glad Nico isn’t here to see your tears, sweet one.”
“Do you love me, Dante?”
“With whatever good remains under all my sins, little sister.”
“Then, teach me how to defend myself. Teach me how to shoot and how to use a knife,” I beg.
“Are you going to kill your husband?” he asks with that familiar, barely restrained madness creeping back into his expression.
“I just want to be ready in case…”
Our parents reach us before I can finish or he can answer, my father silent but furious and my mother busy scolding me. Dante doesn’t release me from his hold. He simply nods, and I know I can count on him.
I don’t want to kill Alessio. I don’t want to kill anyone. I just want to feel like I have some power, even a fraction of the power the men in my life have before my husband breaks me as mercilessly as I fear he will.
6
Caterina
(Caterina, age 18)
“Happy Birthday to you…”
My big brothers mumble along to the song which makes it all the more precious to me, but Frankie outshines everyone with the voice of an angel. She’s so talented. She whispers that she’s getting an audition at Juilliard soon. I can’t imagine having the opportunity to live a normal life, even one that involves auditions at Juilliard.
I’m glad she could be here today. She’s become my closest friend, and we message each other constantly. Since I graduated last month, it’s like I’ve dropped off the radar from the girls I used to talk to in high school. They’re the daughters of my father’s captains and soldiers so none would dare get too close to the Capo’s daughter to begin with. None of them will be moving to Las Vegas either. But, I’ll have Frankie not so terribly far away.
Gia is here as well but, even with her living in Chicago the past eighteen months, we don’t see each other as much as I’d like beyond the usual social gatherings. It pains me to see the dark mark on her cheek today which her makeup can’t quite conceal. Her husband, Ritchie Barzetti, is just as horrible as I feared. I tried to speak to my father about it, but he shook his head, saying the one thing a Capo does not do is interfere in the private lives of his men.
I long to give what support I can, but Gia tells me to focus on my own happiness. When I recalled the day we met and mentioned how she asked me if I’d figured out what I was in for yet, she said,“Do not mind that, Caterina. I was upset. I’m not close to Alessio the way you are close to your brothers, but he’s a very different animal than my pig of a husband. He is not the psycho that Sil, Jr. was, and he’s not my father either. Not quite.”
I might’ve felt reassured if she hadn’t added those last two words.
My mother beams at me as the song ends, urging me to make a wish. I give her a serene smile even though I know my wishes aren’t meant to come true. We’ve butted heads less often these past few months. She would say it’s because I’m maturing. I would say it’s because I know my time with my family is fleeting, and I don’t want to spend it fighting.
Taking a deep breath, I blow out the candles, wishing I could go back to being seventeen. Or seven perhaps when I was still innocent and having my brothers swing me high up in the air before they showered me with gifts was what birthday parties entailed.
After the cake is served, Nico asks to speak with me alone. I notice the way his wife scowls at him. Like Gia, my brother’s marriage is an unhappy arrangement though there are no marks on Margareta. For all his sins, that is not one of Nico’s. I don’tknow the reason they have never formed a better bond because he doesn’t share it with me, and I’ve never managed to get close to her despite my best attempts. From the day I met her as a beautiful new bride, she’s been cold and prideful around me.
But, Margareta is pregnant with twins, and I’m excited to dote on the little babies as my brothers always doted on me… until I recall I won’t be here in Chicago to watch them grow.
