My heart twists with hurt for him. “I’m sorry. Were you captured by an enemy or-”
“My father did it. To harden me.”
“How could he-”
“Many ways and that wasn’t the first time.”
I had meant to ask ‘how could he do that?’ but I know better than to interrupt when Alessio continues.
“These scars are electrical burns. He strapped me up and flipped a switch, waiting to see how long it would take me to break and beg for mercy. I learned to hold my tongue for along time in the face of agony. Otherwise, the session would last longer. My older brother enjoyed getting to help.”
Ice water spills across my heated skin, burrowing into my earlier contentment. I know Alessio’s experience is not unusual for boys in our world, but it makes me sick. And his big brother helped? I remember being much younger and overhearing Nico quietly comforting Dante when he was twelve. Our father had been ‘hardening’ him, too. When I’d asked Dante why he had been punished, he’d looked at me with pity and told me there was at least one reason to be glad I was a girl. The thought of having a son, an innocent child like Nico’s newborn boy and watching my husband mistreat him someday to prepare him for the mafia…
“It was years ago. Don’t look so sad.”
“How old were you?”
“Ten when he gave me these. Seven when he first started.”
Good God, even worse than I pictured. “Do you ever think of another life away from…”
“A treasonous thought, Caterina.” I remain quiet. He made me swear never to betray him but is it treason simply to ask a question? “No, I don’t think of another life. We’re rich. We’re powerful. We’re not working in cubicles or factories, drowning in debt or struggling to eat, living by all those rules normal people must follow. Fuck, I could never be that kind of man, living that sort of life. I’d rather die. This is the life I’ve chosen, and I will never turn my back on my men or my oath. Don’t cry any silly tears for me either. I’m a murdering, torturing monster like my father, and I fucking enjoy it. Now, sleep.”
The last was a command, and I know I should listen.
But, in the darkness, my fingers find those burn scars again, and I gently caress them while whispering words from my heart. “I’ll never leave your side or betray you, Alessio, but I want tobe happy. I will do my best to bring you happiness in our dark world, too.”
He doesn’t reply. It doesn’t matter. If he will treat me right, perhaps he will decide he is glad of our arranged marriage. Perhaps he will even give up his wish to kill my brothers. My eyes are so heavy that, when his arm wraps around my shoulders once more with another gruff order to sleep, I couldn’t keep them open any longer if I tried.
21
Alessio
My father’s plan for revenge is doomed. In truth, it was doomed from the moment I met her with her awful bangs and big brown eyes two years ago. I can’t explain why. I just know that I, who has never felt a drop of remorse for even my blackest sins, can’t seem to tolerate the notion of physically hurting Caterina.
My older brother be damned (which he is) if my wife is the only path to revenge (which she isn’t.) There’s the rub though because killing Nico or Dante or both would definitely hurt her. Fuck, these nonsensicalfeelingscause too many issues. It’s easier to be hard, emotionless, and untouchable.
“I’ll never leave your side or betray you, Alessio, but I want to be happy.”
She will never be happy with me. I’m incapable of the sort of love she daydreams about. But I will ensure the golden cage I keep her in is as pleasant as possible. I want that brilliant sparkin my Caterina’s eyes to burn on for all my days. The thought of snuffing it out sickens me.
“I will do my best to bring you happiness in our dark world, too.”
Like some nocturnal creature, I both crave her light and fear I must reject it. My world has been shuttered in darkness for so long, since the night I understood my mother’s betrayal and realized the extent of my father’s revenge for what she did.A dish best served cold.If Caterina acted against me or the Trio that way, could I do the same? It’s what my oath demands, the one oath I’m supposed to honor above all others.
Turning away from the memories, I watch the sun creep into my bedroom, its streaks of gold wakening dark chestnut highlights in Caterina’s lustrous black hair. She’s so goddamn lovely. Not the artificial kind. Just fresh and real, soft and gorgeous.
Promising my wife faithfulness the other night wasn’t a hardship. Women may be drawn to the power I hold. Bad girls might get wet over the predator they can sense lurking inside of me. But one dark look is all it takes to send them running from the Reaper. Yet, my wife doesn’t run. I suppose she has no choice but to make the best of things even if part of me wants to believe she doesn’t regret our marriage the way she should.
And I can’t deny how I want her. It’s damn pleasing to explore all these new things with her. Maybe Nico Morelli can be tormented enough just thinking of me constantly bedding his little sister.
“Stay like that, spread your hips wider.”
“Alessio… youcan’tdo that!” she gasps when she realizes my intent.
“Would you deny me, Caterina?” I ask, fully prepared to stop if she says I must. Yet, I know she won’t. My curious kitten enjoys these discoveries too much.
“No,” she mumbles, her cheek growing warmer against my thigh. “Will I like it?”
