I exhale. I don’t want to get her in trouble, but after kissing her once, it’s going to be extremely difficult not to pull her into my arms and do it again.
I stare up at the sky with her. Millions of stars sparkling like twinkling lights have appeared against the backdrop of the pitch-black night. It’s so magnificent, I couldn’t speak if I wanted to.
Instead, I squeeze Maya’s hand and rub my thumb gently back and forth over her skin.
I think this is what happiness feels like. It’s vaguely familiar. Before the accident, I was happy. But since then, I never let myself truly enjoy anything without guilt.
Do I really want to leave tomorrow?
Did I ever actually want to leave or did I just want to run away from the pain, the reminders, the grief?
I’m beginning to understand that I can’t outrun it. I’ve tried for years, but it’s only ever kept it away temporarily. It might actually be time to face it, to tell my story, to let others in. I feel like I might be able to—with Maya by my side.
We lie there, looking at the stars for what feels like minutes but is actually closer to an hour. My arm is under Maya’s head, and she’s snuggled against me. I’m only now registering how crazy this is. I only met Maya a few days ago, but being with her is starting to feel like a staple in my daily routine.
Maya points at the sky. “There’s my favorite constellation, Taurus. It’s supposed to be a bull, but I think it looks more like a person dancing or flying.”
I twist my head to the side and chuckle. “I can kind of see something like Superman flying across the sky.”
“Yep, that’s it. Now, it’s your turn. Which constellation is your favorite?” She shows me a few more.
“Can someone be bad at stargazing? It’s hard for me to see a lot of them.”
Maya snuggles into my side and drapes her arm over my stomach. “It’s nice to know I can beat a professional tennis player at something.”
I squeeze her close. “You already beat me at smiling.”
“I don’t know, you’re getting pretty good at it.” She looks up at me with those chocolatey-brown eyes and grins.
“Thanks to you.” I kiss the top of her head.
I could stay in this moment forever. An igloo would make a good permanent residence, right? Who needs a pro tennis career when I’ve got the sweetest girl in the world lying next to me under the stars.
Maya’s smartwatch pings. She looks at the screen and says, “My friend Holly is having car trouble and needs a ride home.”
When our eyes meet, my chest tightens. This could be the end of our time together, but I don’t want it to be. When I’m with Maya, I feel like a seed that’s growing stronger each day. Tonight, I finally broke through the top layer of dirt. I can feel the sun, I can see the light. Life doesn’t always have to be dark.
Maya sighs and says, “You’re going to have to roll me off this chair, otherwise I might never leave.”
I take a deep breath. “I was thinking…I might stay and do the interview.”
Maya sits up. “Really? What made you change your mind?”
I reach for her hand. “You.” My gaze lands on our interlaced fingers. “You make me happy. I had forgotten what that felt like. Before I met you, I thought I would only be happy if I achieved my tennis goals, like winning a major. But, I’m realizing that’s not true…Joey wouldn’t want me to be so serious all the time. I’m not honoring his life by never enjoying mine.”
Maya wraps her arms around my shoulders. “It sounds like Joey was a great brother.”
“He was. And I want the world to know it.”
Chapter 18
Maya
IfeellikeI’mfloating on a cloud to work instead of driving in my old, but reliable, Ford Focus. Spending time with Eddie in the igloo last night was even better than I expected. Deciding to do the interview to honor his brother can only be categorized as a breakthrough. I’m so excited he’s going to stay.
Today is Eddie’s interview, and tomorrow is the last day of the Mynt to Make a Difference Week. As a final celebration, there’s going to be a Merry Mynt Ball. It’s a huge party with fancy clothes, dancing and definitely lots of peppermint puns. I haven’t figured out what I’m going to wear, but I am looking forward to being with Eddie.
Of course, we’ll have to keep our feelings for each other a secret. But, it’s only two more days. I can do that, no problem.
