So here I was. Still technically in a relationship, still dodging the breakup conversation, still clinging to the excuse of “timing” like it was a valid reason.
The skiing itself was fun, with snow-dusted trees, powdery trails, and the occasional thrill of speed, but even the gorgeous view couldn’t distract me from the pit in my stomach. Or the way Alex kept pulling way ahead, barely glancing back to check if I was keeping up.
When we got to the bottom of the hill, Alex took off his helmet and goggles. “Let’s head into the lodge. You can rest so we can hit the run again, and maybe then you can keep up,” he said, adding a wink as if that would make his rude comment go over better.
How had I ever liked him? Had I been at such a low point in my life that I had thought trying to get a guy like him to like me would prove something? Ugh. That was a hard realization to swallow. I used to be so confident and sure of myself, but trying to be a photographer in New York City sure had beaten me down. I don’t think I’d realized how deep a hole I’d fallen into, and meeting Alex, him offering to help meget a better job, had felt like him throwing down a rope.
Although I was doing well with my job now, it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing. Architectural photography wasn’t where my heart was. Now I found myself working a job I didn’t enjoy and dating a guy I enjoyed even less.
And can we talk about the wink he’d given me? Yuck. It’s a rare guy who could pull off the wink, and Alex was not one of them.
I bet Holden could, I thought.
But let’s be honest—I didn’t think there was anything Holden couldn’t do that he wouldn’t look good doing it. Yeah, he wasthatkind of guy.
We entered the lodge, and Alex immediately veered toward a corner chair to take his call, but I didn’t follow. Instead, I turned in the opposite direction and made a beeline for the hot chocolate bar.
The line was surprisingly short, and I quickly placed my order. I took the cup between my hands, letting the warmth seep into my fingers as I wandered toward the fireplace glowing near the back of the lodge. I hovered for a second, debating whether to snag one of the big leather chairs, when I heard a familiar voice.
“Hey.”
I turned, and there he was. Holden.
He was dressed in sleek black ski gear with his goggles pushed up on his head, cheeks flushed from the cold, and that easy, crooked smile that made something flutter in my chest.
“Hi.” I tried to not sound breathless, but I wasn’t quite successful at it.
He looked good.Reallygood. So good I wished I could do an hour-long photo shoot of him. And I was way too happy to see him.
“Are you planning to sit alone?” he asked, and I thought I heard a hint of hope in his voice.
“Yes,” I smiled, way too big for someone who had planned to sit alone. “Do you want to join me?”
“Yeah.” He pointed over to the hot chocolate stand. “Let me grab a drink, and I’ll be right back.”
I claimed one of the leather chairs and waited for Holden to return, really glad I happened to be in the lodge instead of still on the slopes.
As he stood in line at the hot chocolate stand, he turned to glance back at me and caught me watching him. Instead of looking away like a normal person, I held his gaze, unable to look away.
He didn’t look away either. Just flashed me a lopsided grin and turned back around.
My stomach did an unhelpful little flip. I needed to break up with my boyfriend. Stat.
Not to go running into Holden’s arms, of course, but I definitely shouldn’t be having these kinds of feelings for someone else while I was still in a relationship. I was getting more and more determined by the minute to end things as soon as possible.
Holden returned a minute later and dropped into the seat beside me, long legs stretched out, a bit of snow still clinging to the cuff of his pants.
We sipped in silence for a minute, the crackle of the fire filling the space between us. It was a cozy kind of quiet, not awkward. I could almost forget the complicated web we were tangled in. Almost.
He turned his head toward me. “So…skiing with Alex. Not the thrilling romantic adventure you were hoping for?” He glanced over at Alex, who was sitting in the corner, still talking on the phone.
I exhaled a breath. “Not exactly. Although anything romantic between us seems to have disappeared a long time ago.”
Holden’s brows lifted slightly, surprised. He didn’t say anything at first, just nodded slowly, like he was trying to figure out what to do with that information.
“You know,” he said finally, “I didn’t think you’d actually admit that.”
I glanced down at my cup, swirling the whipped cream with the wooden stir stick. “I probably wouldn’t have yesterday.”
