The front door swung open, breaking through the tangled web of my confused thoughts. Although Isla had never walked into my apartment without knocking, there was still a part of me that hoped it was her, so when Wilder walked in with a suitcase in each hand, Olivia following behind, my shoulders slumped in disappointment.
Wilder took one look at me and set down the luggage. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head, not able to look him in the eyes. It was scary how easily we could read each other. I hadn’t even said a word, and he knew something was up.
He turned to Olivia. “Can you give us a minute?”
She looked between the two of us. “Uh, sure. I’ll just go start unpacking.”
Once she was out of the room and the click of the door sounded down the hall, Wilder came and sat on the other couch, facing me. “Start talking.”
“I told you, it’s nothing.” I tried to act like I was fine, that I wasn’t having a mini freak-out with all the thoughts I couldn’t fathom. Wilder didn’t need to deal with my issues. He’d put up with a lot from me over the years.
“BS. You’re acting like we haven’t known each other our whole lives,” he said. “I’m going to say the same thing you’ve said to me more than once—I know you better than you know yourself. Now, tell me what’s going on.”
I let out a huff of air. “Fine. Isla broke off our dating arrangement.”
Wilder gave me a confused look. “Wasn’t that always the plan?”
“Yes,” I agreed. “But her getting back withJoshwas a bit of a surprise.”
His brows almost hit his hairline. “She’s getting back with Josh?”
“Yep.”
“And you’re upset about that.” He said it more as a statement than a question.
“Yes, I’m upset about that. Josh doesn’t deserve her. He’s a selfish asshole, and she’s one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met.” The fury began to rise inside of me again.
He nodded. “And that’s the only reason you’re upset? Just the fact that they don’t go together and she should be with someone better?”
“Yeah, of course. What else would it be?”
He gave me a challenging look. “You tell me.”
I ignored his insinuation. “I just did.”
“You may be able to fool yourself, but you aren’t fooling me. I’ve seen how you are with her.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he held up a hand to cut me off. “I know you two were ‘acting’ but it was obvious to anyone within a three-foot radius of you two that there was absolutely no acting going on. Not even Oscar-winners could pull off that kind of performance.”
I shut my mouth, knowing there was no excuse I could use to refute what he was saying. I hadn’t had to act at all. Everything I had done had been real because I’d wanted it to be real. I didn’t think any guy would have to act with Isla. She was intoxicating, easily able to allure any man.
“Fine.” It was pointless to lie to Wilder. “You want me to say I like her? There. I said it. I like her.”
He let out a laugh. “You think you just like her? You’re way beyondlikeat this point.”
I shook my head, not able to go there. “You know I refuse to have feelings like that for someone. I’m going to be single forever.” My words sounded hollow, and evenIdidn’t believe them, so I wasn’t sure why I thought Wilder would.
He gave me a sympathetic look. “I know you never wanted to fall in love with someone because of losing your mom and how it changed your dad, but you can’t let that keep you from living your life the way you want to.”
I stiffened. “Ihavebeen living my life the way I want to. I want to be single. I want to go from woman to woman. I want to focus on football only. I want to ignore and forget my past. I’ve been doingexactlywhat I want.” With each sentence, my voice became more forceful.
“And is going from woman to woman what you want to do now? To use them to occupy your mind so you don’t have to think about anything else?” he said, matching my tone.
My chest heaved up and down. Anger wanted to spew out of me, but I knew I wasn’t angry at Wilder. “No,” I ground out, the truth adding to my anger.
“And why not?” he challenged.
