He was now in front of me, his strong arms on either side of me blocking my escape. His legs straddled above mine, and our faces were perfectly lined up, our mouths only a few inches apart. Paired with the roguish glint in his eye, my system was overloaded.
My breaths came fast, and it had nothing to do with being scared, but a lot to do with the lust that filled my body at having him this close to me, on my bed, behind closed doors. I’d never experienced this sensation before, the need, the want to be with somebody in such a primal way.
His eyes flicked down to my lips and then back up. “Fine, then I guess it’s up to me.” With that he rolled to the side and off the bed in one swift motion, never once touching me even though my body was acting like he had.
I was both relieved and disappointed. Taking a breath to start regulating my breathing, I wondered how I was going to make it through all of this in one piece. How was I going to handle it when we finally kissed? I couldn’t even control my breathing when he got close to me.
Jeez, I wanted to smack myself for being so ridiculous.
He stopped at the bottom of my bed and started to hit his legs against the edge, making the headboard hit against the wall in a steady rhythm.
I moved with the bed, our eyes locked as he stood there continuing to push against the mattress with his knees over and over. If it hadn’t been for the way he was staring at me, I would have thought this whole thing was silly. At least until he let out a moan so deep and sensual that my body felt instantly flushed.
Maybe I should have been surprised he was pretending just so my roommate would be convinced, but I wasn’t. I just kept watching him repeatedly move his legs against the edge of the bed, listening to his moaning and grunting, and feeling more aroused now than I had ever felt with Josh. Quickly I pushed aside thoughts of Josh, not wanting to think about him at this moment. I was too wrapped up in whatever act Slate was putting on and didn’t want to miss a second of seeing him like this. Even if it was fake.
We had yet to break eye contact, and when my name passed through his lips during what was meant to be his climax, it was like my body had been lit on fire. The hunger and need coursed through me, and I wanted more.
Slowly the bed stopped moving, and reality came settling back in. I blinked up at Slate, not sure what to say. Warmth flooded my cheeks at how I must have looked while he’d been acting. I needed to say something, anything, to help make this situation less awkward.
“That was very convincing,” I said, getting up off the bed and going over to my desk. Not sure that sentence choice really helped, but I didn’t know how to navigate this.
Straightening my laptop, pens, and sticky notes on my desk, I couldn’t look Slate in the eye.
“Hey, we’re friends, remember?” His voice said next to me. “Nothing to be embarrassed about.”
The fact that he could read me so well this early in our friendship wasn’t lost on me. He was observant and caring, and it messed with my head.
“I know, but I…” How did I finish that sentence? I’d never had an experience like that in my life. I had been more turned on in that moment than ever before. That was the best not-sex sex I’d ever had. “I haven’t done something like that before.”
His open expression turned to one of concern. “I’m sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable? That was never my intention.”
Uncomfortable? There had been absolutely nothing uncomfortable about it. The only thing I was not happy about was the fact that I was now wanting more, wanting something from him that I should never want from a friend.
He genuinely looked worried, like maybe he’d taken it too far. And maybe with us being just friends, it had been. I still had no desire to get into a relationship with him, but I’d need to get a hold of this new heightened kind of desire I was feeling.
“No, I wasn’t uncomfortable at all,” I assured him.
He let out a relieved sigh. “Good. I always want you to feel safe with me.”
Looking up at him, I gave a small smile. “I do feel safe with you.”
And that was the truth. I trusted Slate completely. Maybe that was naïve of me, but he’d already become the kind of friend to me that I couldn’t see myself living without.
“I’m happy to hear that,” he said, smiling down at me.
The awkward moment was gone, and we’d easily transitioned back into our normal friendship. Thank goodness.
“Now we just need you to run your fingers through my hair to muss it up,” he said, motioning toward his hair.
“Me?” I exclaimed. “Why can’t you run your own fingers through it?”
I didn’t think I had the self-control to touch him right now.
“My fingers are too big, it looks different,” he argued.
“I think you’re making this up, but whatever.” I pushed away the thoughts of what had just happened, reaching up and running my fingers through his hair.
I focused on my fingers, making sure not to make eye contact with Slate. This was purely a task to be done, definitely not a possible intimate moment. I didn’t even notice how his dark hair was soft and felt amazing in my fingers. Didn’t notice at all.
