The song ended, and the DJ's voice spilled out over the speakers. "Five minutes until midnight, so grab a drink and, if you're feeling lucky, someone you want to kiss because we'll be doing the countdown soon!"
I used the excuse of having to use the restroom to get away and not give the poor guy false hope that he and I would be kissing at midnight. Beelining it for the ladies' room, I hurried and used the bathroom and washed my hands. I looked at my reflection, fixing a few stray curls and reapplying my lipstick. Disappointment stared back at me, knowing I wouldn't get to kiss Rush when the clock struck midnight.
I would get to be with him tonight. And we would be doing a lot more than a single kiss.
This party would be over soon, and we'd be able to go back to our perfect little bubble. We could forget all about this party and aboutNatalia. He’d hold me and kiss me and remind me how crazy he was about me. Just a little bit longer, and this night would be behind us.
Walking out of the bathroom, I headed toward the dance floor, where the majority of the people were gathered.
Ten.
The countdown started.
Nine.
I pushed my way through the crowd, trying to get back to my friends.
Eight. Seven.
Shoot. I'd forgotten to grab a drink on the way back so I could at least do some kind of toast at the end of the countdown. Oh, well.
Six. Five.
Finally, I reached the group, glad I wouldn't be alone, and started counting along with the crowd.
Four.
Where was Rush?
Three.
I searched through the crowd, looking to where he'd been hanging out most of the night.
Two.
There he was, a drink in his hand and an arm around Natalia, with a happy smile on his face as he counted down with his friends.
One.
My shoulders drooped at the sight. Why wasn't he looking for me? I'd figured we'd at least be looking at each other as we rang in the new year.
"Happy New Year!" the DJ shouted.
As I watched Rush from across the room, Natalia reached up and took his face in both her hands and kissed him.
Time seemed to stop as I stared at them in shock, watching the two of them kiss. My stomach heaved like someone had punched me. It was as if I was seeing it in slow motion, a train wreck I couldn't seem to look away from.
I had no sense of time, but it seemed too long. Why were they still kissing? Why were they kissing at all? Hurt and anger whirled around inside me.
Rush reached up with the hand that didn't have a drink in it and removed one of her hands from his face, finally breaking the kiss.
A look of shock was on his face, and his eyes frantically scanned the room. He was looking for me, wondering if I'd seen it. The fact that he didn't even know where I was sent another wave of hurt rolling through me.
His eyes finally connected with mine, his mouth forming a curse word.
That's right, Rush. I saw the whole thing.
I spun on my heel and roughly shouldered my way through the celebrating crowd. I needed to get out of here. My heart felt like it was being crushed, not just from what I'd seen, but also from all the pressure of keeping our relationship a secret. It was too much. I couldn't take it anymore. Every time we were out in public and couldn't be together it was like physically getting hit, and I was tired of being beat up and bruised. My heart couldn't handle the pain.
