We knew we had to be extra careful when we were out in public, with no change to our normal habits. I had to keep acting like I enjoyed the attention I received from other girls, and she had to keep acting like she wasn't a fan of mine.
I used to like going out and being with the guys, happening to get a glance at Scarlet, but now all I wanted to do was stay at my apartment, curled up on the couch with her in my arms.
I hadn't hung out with the guys in a while since I'd been spending more time with Scarlet lately, and then I had just got back from spending time with my family during Thanksgiving break, so I had been worried it might cause suspicion if I didn't go out tonight.
This was my first time seeing Scarlet since I left to go home, and although we'd talked on the phone and texted during the few days apart, I'd missed her like crazy. Not seeing her for so long was making it even harder to stay away from her right now. All I wanted to do was drag her off the dance floor and show her exactly how much I missed her.
"Rush, did you hear me?" the girl next to me said, bringing my attention back to her.
I dragged my eyes from Scarlet and focused on the girl who was talking to me. "Uh, sorry. What did you say?"
She pushed her straight blonde hair over her shoulder, sticking out her chest, barely covered by the deep V-neck dress she wore. "I said, do you want to go dance? You keep looking over there, so I thought maybe you wanted to dance with me." She batted her fake eyelashes at me, and I tried not to visibly cringe.
Dance with her? No. I had no desire to dance with her. But it would get me closer to Scarlet and give her a taste of her own medicine, so why not? Two could play this game.
"Sure. Let's dance."
I guided the girl—whose name I couldn't remember—to the dance floor close to where Scarlet was dancing. The music had morphed into a slow song, and she was currently still dancing with the same guy she'd been with almost the whole night. He had short brown hair, similar to mine, and I was pretty sure he was on the soccer team. He had an athletic build but wasn't as big as me, and he was slightly shorter as well. And if I had to admit it, he was pretty decent looking too.
Feelings of insecurity swirled around me. What if when we were trying so hard to show that we weren't a couple, she ended up meeting someone else, someone she could actually be with in public?
She laughed at something he said, and jealousy surged through me. He shouldn't be the one holding her close, swaying to the music, making her laugh—that should have been me. But it wasn't, and it never could be. This secret dating thing was harder than I'd thought it would be. When we were alone together it was amazing, but those moments were few and far between. It had only been a month, but our busy schedules and keeping up appearances had started to wear on me.
I went through the motions of slow dancing with the girl, who still had high hopes that something might happen between us tonight. I figured I might as well play the part.
As we danced, I asked her what she did over the break, and in answer, she talked almost the entire song without stopping. She eventually asked me the same question, but I kept mine short, telling her I'd spent time with family. I kept glancing over to where Scarlet was dancing, but not once did I catch her looking at me. She seemed to be genuinely interested in whatever the two of them were talking about. I had to listen to Barbie talk about how she broke a nail on Thanksgiving Day and how it had almost ruined her whole weekend, but thankfully her nail lady had been able to get her in first thing the next morning. Riveting stuff.
Finally, the slow song ended and a fast song came on, thoroughly ending any conversations. Before Scarlet, I could not have cared less what the girl I was with talked about, as long as it ended with us hooking up.
Now that I'd been with Scarlet, I wanted something deeper and more fulfilling. I wanted to be with someone I could have meaningful conversations with, someone I could go to when I needed them, and someone who I looked forward to spending time with. Scarlet had changed everything for me.
Regardless of all that, I still had to dance with this girl and not be a total jerk. I tried to block out my thoughts of Scarlet and put on a player persona, pulling out my acting skills.
Grabbing the girl's hips, I brought her closer to me, dancing in rhythm to the music with her. Her hips felt bony in my hands, nothing like what Scarlet felt like. The girl shook her head to the music, her straight hair flying around her, and I thought about how much better it would look if it were curly, like Scarlet's. And when she tried to give me this come hither look, all I could think of was how much prettier her eyes would be if they were green, like Scarlet's.
Gosh, I had it bad. Nothing—no one—was as good as Scarlet. This girl was technically beautiful, but she wasn't doing anything for me. I didn't want to pretend that I liked dancing with this girl—or any other girl who wasn't Scarlet.
Maybe I could tell everyone I'd gotten back together with an old girlfriend back home and we were doing the long-distance thing. That could explain why I was now pushing girls away.
But then I remembered I'd told some of the guys I'd never had a serious girlfriend in high school, so I wasn't sure I could really pull that off. Damn it.
She walked around behind me, her hands trailing a path on my chest, shoulders, and back. While she was behind me, I had a perfect view of Scarlet, who had her back turned to the guy's front, her head resting back on his shoulder with her eyes closed, his hands wrapped around her stomach, as they moved to the beat together.
Seeing her like that with another guy was like getting the wind knocked out of me.
No. No way in hell was I letting this punk have any more time with his hands on my girl.
I took a step forward but was cut off by the girl, who had finished making her circle around me, thoroughly breaking through my jealous rage and reminding me that I couldn't do a damn thing about how they were dancing.
"Where are you going?" she asked, wrapping her arms around my neck.
I clenched my teeth. "No where."
Looking past her, I could see Scarlet was now facing him, some distance between them. This was my time to do something. I didn't have enough self-control to keep watching. I spun the girl around, so my back was to Scarlet, moving my feet like I was dancing, acting as if I wasn’t trying to get closer to where Scarlet was.
I maneuvered over to her so that our backs were touching and said quickly over my shoulder, "We need to talk." It came out more curtly than I'd wanted, my frustration seeping through.
"Women's bathroom," she threw over her shoulder, but her voice didn't betray any emotion.
