"What were you going to do when you saw me?" I wanted to know what could have happened.
"Kiss you, you idiot!" she said animatedly, her voice loud. "I'd had this amazing night, and I thought you had too, but then I heard you saying all those awful things to your friends. I practically ran away."
"Oh, Scarlet, I'm so sorry," I said. Knowing she had heard what I'd said about her made me feel horrible.
"I can understand why you didn't pursue me anymore after that night, but did you mean what you said to them?" she asked, obviously still upset. "Was I just forbidden fruit? You wanted a taste of what you weren't supposed to have? Then you got it, and it wasn't worth it?"
"No," I argued. "It wasn't like that."
This was not how I'd seen this conversation going. I wasn't explaining myself well at all, but before I could say anything more, she spoke up.
"Then what was it like? Because I know what I heard."
Frustration and shame were building inside of me. "I was scared. I'd broken Coach's rule, and I was afraid he would find out."
"That still doesn't explain why you said what you did," she countered.
I ran a hand through my hair, pulling on the ends. She didn't get it. I couldn't have told Brayden and Ryan the truth. It was too dangerous, in more ways than one. If some of the guys on the team knew about how amazing Scarlet was, it would have turned into a game. Bets would have been flying, trying to figure out how much they could get away with. She'd had a point when she'd mentioned forbidden fruit. That, coupled with my true feelings about that night, would have been a recipe for a disaster.
"What did you want me to tell them?" I asked, my voice rising. "That it was the best kiss of my life? That being with you put every other girl to shame?" I ran my hand through my hair again. "Yeah, there was no way I was telling them that. I didn’t want them knowing how much you affected me. I didn't want them to know how amazing it was. And I didn’t want to give them any reason to be near you at all. You know Brayden and some of the other guys would have been sniffing around you if I told them the truth. Rules or no rules, they would have come for you."
Without missing a beat, she matched my intensity. "And you think I would have fallen into their laps so easily?"
"They're good at what they do—Brayden, in particular. I wasn't willing to risk it."
"Well, thank you for your unsolicited protection, but I can take care of myself."
"I know that. I wasn't only worried about that, though. You can choose to be with whomever you want." I looked away from her shadowed silhouette. "At the time I was... also worried that... you'd like one of them more than me."
Gosh, that sounded pathetic, but it was true.
"You were afraid I would like them more than you?" she asked softly, the incredulousness of that apparent in her voice.
I lay back down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling, embarrassed to be admitting it out loud. "Yeah."
It was quiet for a few moments, my confirmation hanging in the air between us. I continued to stare at the ceiling, not knowing what else to say. The sound of sheets rustling broke my trance and I turned to see Scarlet crossing the space between us. I watched her in awe as she pulled back the covers, and I moved over so she could slide into bed next to me, with both of us on our sides facing each other.
I didn’t know what she was doing or where her head was after everything we'd talked about, so I remained silent, not wanting to ruin this moment.
Gently she placed her hands on either side of my face and laid a feather light kiss on my lips. A mix of shock, relief, and pleasure went through me at her touch.
Pulling back, she said, "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For explaining everything." She slid her hands down from my face and let them rest against my chest. "It all makes a lot more sense now. You had me so confused. But I get it. I don't want to risk the future that you've worked so hard for. We can't be together... for now, and I'll respect that."
For now? What did she mean by that? Was she really meaning that maybe one day when I was done playing football for Waterford, there still might be a chance for us? That was at least two-and-a-half years away, and there was no saying what would happen between then and now.
I laid my hand on her hip and pulled her a little closer, our foreheads touching. "I wish things were different."
"Me too," she said on a breath.
We lay there in silence, and I soaked up the feel of having her this close to me, no lies and no secrets.
I wanted this moment to stretch on forever, but eventually she pulled back and looked up at me. "Good night, Rush."
"Good night, Scarlet." Her eyes closed, but I kept mine open looking down at her as she slept, like a total creeper.
