"There's nothing to talk about." Her hand was still on the door handle, and I was afraid she was going to shut the door in my face.
"I know I don't deserve a chance to explain," I began. "But I'm still hoping you'll give me one. I never meant to hurt you. How things went after the bonfire eats at me every day. And then, you'd think I would have learned my lesson, but nope, I just went and did it again tonight." I paused, running a hand through my hair. "I don't blame you for hating me. I hate me too."
A moment of silence passed as I waited for her to say something.
"I guess since we're both on the Rush Sucks team, you can come in." She didn't look any happier, but she opened the door wider, stepping back and motioning with her arm for me to come in.
Walking into the dark room, I waited as she turned on one of the lamps. The room had two queen beds in it, but one of them hadn't been touched.
I turned to her and gave her a sheepish look. "I also need to tell you that I have nowhere to sleep tonight."
She raised one of her eyebrows at me and crossed her arms. "So that's really why you came here tonight. You needed a bed to sleep in and knew you'd have to grovel in order for me to let you in the room? Did you even mean anything you said out there?" she said, pointing toward the hallway.
"Yes," I hurried to say. "I meant all of it."
She folded her arms across her chest again and looked at me as if she didn't believe me.
Sighing, I said, "I originally came down here because I needed somewhere to sleep, but once I got here and heard your voice, I realized that I wanted to talk to you.Neededto talk to you."
She stood there for a moment before letting her arms fall and walking past me to the bed on the far side of the room. Climbing in the bed and pulling the covers up to her neck she lay down on her side, facing me.
"I'm not sure there is much you can say to change things," she said, her voice flat. "So you might as well get in that bed and go to sleep."
Still in my swimsuit and a t-shirt, I walked over to the bed and got in on the side closer to her, so I could face her across the small space between the beds.
We stared at each other in the dim light the lamp provided, neither of us saying a word. The moment didn't feel awkward or tense, but almost comfortable. A resigned look was on her face as it lay against the white pillow, her curls fanned around her. Her bare face glowed, her long lashes blinking slowly. I'd never seen her like this, and she was absolutely beautiful.
Being in this hotel room with her was not how I'd thought this night would go. She’d said there was nothing I could say to change things between us, but that didn't take away the feeling of wanting to tell her everything.
Going through several opening statements of what to say to her only made me feel less confident. What could I say to her that would take back what a jerk I'd been? There were no words to fix the hurt I'd put her through. Granted, all we'd ever done was kiss, but I'd toyed with her emotions, knowing that nothing could ever happen between us. Words seemed to fail me, so I stayed quiet hoping that eventually I'd know what to say.
I didn't know how much time had passed while we remained quiet, alone in our thoughts as we continued to look at one another. I wished I could know what she was thinking.
Finally she broke the silence. "You didn't turn off the light."
I smiled a little at her words. Here I was racking my brain on what to say to her, and all she had been thinking about was how the light was still on. Served me right.
I sat up and walked over to where the lamp was on the desk and turned it off, plunging the room into darkness. The glow coming from the numbers on the clock on the nightstand between us was our only source of light.
Crawling back in bed, I lay on my side again. Only her silhouette was visible now, but I kept my eyes open, enjoying her being so close. Built up energy flowed inside me, making me nowhere near ready to fall asleep. I needed to say something quick before she fell asleep and I lost my nerve to tell her the truth. She deserved to know the truth, whether it got me in trouble or not. I wasn't the kind of guy to keep hurting a girl over and over. I'd been selfish to keep it to myself all this time.
"Scarlet," I began, my voice seeming loud in the darkness.
"Yes," she said, her voice softer than mine.
"I . . ." I still hadn't come up with anything brilliant to say. The silence grew heavy, and I scrambled to figure out what to say. "I like you."
What?
My eyes closed in embarrassment, and I was glad for the darkness so she couldn’t see how stupid I felt. I like you? Really? That's what I’d come up with? Gosh, I was an idiot.
"Oookay," she said slowly, obviously not understanding where that was coming from.
"I mean, I really like you," I said, further making a fool out of myself.
Her voice was still soft when she said, "Actions speak louder than words."
I swallowed, loudly enough that she could probably hear me. She made a good point. My actions had been lousy, and my words had been even lousier.
