"No, just the things you mentioned," I said. "Really, it's just my dad and Rush. I actually kind of feel bad about how I haven't even thought about Mick."
"That's good, I guess."
"Yeah, Rush and my dad are more than enough for me to worry about," I said, pushing down on the gas pedal to pick up speed as we merged onto the freeway.
"I'm assuming you don't want to talk about your dad..." she said, letting the sentence hang.
"You assume correctly."
She turned in her seat to face me a little better, her voice full of excitement. "Then let's talk about Rush and how cute you two were at game night."
I chuckled. "I don't know if I would say cute," I argued. "We were forced to be partners, I was yelling at him to get more balloons, we didn't kiss during the cheese puff game, and we both wrote down a food that described our relationship as rough."
"But you're forgetting all the good parts in between," she insisted. "How you are both competitive and were quick to find your groove with the balloon game, your teamwork doing the cheese puff game was amazing and you killed us all, and you got two answers correct on the question round when nobody else did."
"Doing the cheese puff game almost killedme," I admitted. "Our lips kept grazing one another's, and I wanted nothing more than to join what the rest of you were doing and kiss Rush until I couldn’t breathe anymore."
"You should have just pretended to drop one on accident," she said, mischievously.
"I thought about it," I said. "But I knew nothing good would come of it."
I'd thought about it every time we had to exchange a cheese puff, and it had been torturous in both a good and bad way. We hadn't been that close in a long time, and though it had been hard not to kiss him, it had also been my favorite game that we had played that night.
I'd take a little lip grazing with Rush any day. It wasn't smart to get involved with him again, but I wasn't above enjoying an opportunity.
"Maybe," she said.
"Hold your horses. There's no maybe about it," I corrected her. "Rush is bad news. I’ve been down that road before."
"But what about the word you two first thought of when you saw each other? Gorgeous? I mean, c'mon, it doesn’t get much better than that."
I had to admit that I had been shocked and flattered at seeing the word 'gorgeous' written in his handwriting, describing his first impression of me. I'd debated on if I should be honest with my answer or put another word that would work well enough, but at the last second I'd decided to be honest. It wasn't a secret that he was extremely good-looking.
"So we both think the other is attractive," I said nonchalantly. "That doesn't mean anything."
She looked at me skeptically. "You and I both know there is a lot more going on between you two than attraction. Anyone in a ten-foot radius can feel the chemistry between you guys."
"I want more than attraction and chemistry. Both of those feelings can fade over time. I want someone I can talk to, someone I can trust, someone I can rely on, someone who will support me."
What I really wanted was what I'd thought my parents had had. Why did I still want that when I'd learned it had never existed? Watching Olivia and Wilder together didn't help. They seemed to have it all—attraction, chemistry, trust, loyalty, friendship, and the coveted I-can't-ever-get-enough-of you feeling.
"I know." She reached out and gently rubbed her hand up and down my arm. "You'll find it one day. I'm sure of it."
"Not all of us can find the love of our life in our freshman year of college," I teased her.
"I feel so lucky." She got a far off look in her eyes. "I never thought I'd ever find someone I'd want to date ever again, let alone be in a relationship with, but Wilder changed everything for me. I know we're young and we have our whole lives ahead of us, but I can't imagine ever not being together."
"You two really are adorable."
"Thanks." She smiled and then turned serious. "I'm sorry, it wasn't nice of me to go on and on about how great my relationship is, when you're wanting one."
"It's okay," I assured her. "I'm happy for you. For both of you. You two were the missing pieces each other needed to find yourselves again. I'm glad I got to take a small part in that."
"Not a small part, a huge part," she said. "I never would have kept tutoring him if you hadn't pushed me to do it."
"You're welcome, sugar," I said, giving her a self-satisfied nod.
It was nice to know that there was a possibility, even if it was slim to none, of finding love out there in the world.
