“Maybe.” I turn my attention to the guitar in my lap, plucking a few random chords. “We went by Riot Rush.”
She shakes her head. “It’s not ringing a bell. Sorry.”
I’m overcome with a strange rush of relief. She doesn’t know about me or my past. Has no idea how bad I really am for her.Fucking amazing.
“No worries,” I say. “It’s been years since we were relevant.” I switch gears before she has a chance to ask mewhyI ended up in Saltbloom, which I’m positive will happen if the conversation continues this way.
I lean forward. “Well, since you know my dirty dark secret now, it’s time for you to tell me one of yours.”
I’m not sure why, but this is thewrongthing to say. The blood drains from Eloise’s face, and she jerks back like I struck her. “What are you talking about? What secret?”
My brows rise, the hairs along my arms prickling with awareness. “I just… was going to ask why you decided to take guitar lessons?”
“I… Oh. Of course.” She doesn’t elaborate.
“Well?” I prompt her, not willing to give up just yet. I’m desperate to know more about Eloise than the bits and pieces she accidentally lets slip. I need to understand what’s making her sosad.“I’m not trying to pry. If I know why you want to learn, it will help me tailor our lessons to your personal goals.”
She looks away and twiddles her fingers in her lap. “My reasons… they’re kind of silly…”
“You can tell me. I'm the last person in the world who will judge you.”
Eloise takes a deep breath, still not looking at me. “I really want to be able to play a Stevie Ray Vaughn song. His version of Jimi Hendrix’s ‘Little Wing,’ specifically. It was my mom’s favorite. She… Her love of music is really what makes me want to play. I don’t have many memories of her, but I do remember her smiling whenever that song came on. Doing this… will allow me to feel closer to her in some way.”
The way she says it makes me think her mom has passed, and I tell myself it would be wrong to push her any more than I have. In actuality, her statement reminded me of how my mother handed down her love of music, and I’m not ready to deal with the emotions that come with that thought.
“Well, I don’t think that’s silly at all,” I say. “It’s beautiful.”
She blushes. “So you think I can do it?”
“The song is extremely advanced. But I’m sure you’ll be able to do it eventually. If you put your heart into it.” I bring a hand to cup my chin. “That is… if you take my guitar home and practice.”
Eloise freezes, her carefree expression shuttering. “You don't understand. I can't.”
“Because of space, right?”
“Yes.”
I eye her critically, but it doesn’t look like she’s going to budge. Sweet Eloise has a deeper secret, and she’s holding it very tightly.
“Alright.” I hold my hands up, conceding. “But if you want to play that song, you’ll need to practice more than once a week.”
“I know. I want to, but—” Her expression closes off, and that icy, emotionless mask she’s so fond of takes over in the next heartbeat. Shutting down. Shutting me out. Eloise gives me a fake smile, her eyes dulling with the lifeless sheen of her mask. “It’s getting late… I should probably go.”
“We still have ten minutes left.”
She just shrugs, gathering her things without looking at me. “Maybe I’ll beat the rain home.”
“Eloise… if I said something to offend you, I’m sorry.”
She lets out a small sigh, then turns to me with her practiced expression. “You didn’t. It’s just the truth doesn’t always feel good. Not your fault.” Without another word, she moves toward the exit. She stops at the threshold, but doesn’t turn her head around as she says, “I’ll see you next week, Riot.”
She exits the store, leaving me with a festering pit of hopelessness in my stomach.
I don’t understand how it could be going so well one moment, and complete and utter shit the next.What is she hiding? What is it that she’s so scared of?
I lean forward, resting my head in my hands as the weight on my shoulders becomes unbearable.
At least she said she would be back.
