“Ballet is an identity. A core part of who I am. I get paid to dance, yes, but Iama dancer. Tavio and Irina helped me discover that identity, but in many ways, it was already there.”
“Destiny.” Rudy smiled broadly before his expression dimmed slightly. “I’m still waiting for mine to arrive.”
“You’re young. You have plenty of time.” My tone was similar to the one I’d used earlier with Victoria, but Rudy made a sour face.
“I’m twenty-four. Feels like everyone else has it all figured out by now,” he said softly. Something pinched deep in my chest.
“They don’t.” I shared a rare bit of honesty, matching his low tone as if we were sharing secrets.
“You mean there’s no exclusive adulting club? No hidden manual on how to level up?” Rudy laughed at his own joke. “Man. That blows.”
“I’m sure your destiny will come calling.” Perhaps if I sounded big brotherly enough, I could tamp down the attraction that kept flaring with every small smile and blush of Rudy’s.
“Here’s hoping.” Rudy didn’t sound convinced, so I felt honor-bound to offer more advice.
“Surely you have some dreams. Something in the computer world? Games?” In my very limited experience, techy people seemed to be in demand.
“Game design is a notoriously brutal field. Playing games is something I do with my friends, not to get paid.” Shaking his head, Rudy made a face like I was missing the point entirely. Which, to be fair, I likely was, so I let him continue. “When I was younger, I thought having a husband and being a stay-at-home dad sounded terrific, but no one’s taking applications for that role either.” He waved the hand holding his cards. “It was a silly thought anyway.”
“It’s not silly.” I thought back to my busy childhood and that underused playroom. The sort of person who brought me pillows and board games would be a parent any kid would be lucky to have.
I also liked how easily he’d come out to me. I’d suspected, of course, thanks to those blushes of his, but he didn’t seem at all self-conscious about sharing his identity with me. It had taken me a lot of years to become as open about being pan myself, so I admired his boldness.
“Someday my prince will come,” Rudy said in a singsong voice before turning back to the game. “Your move.”
I wanted to bring back his earlier good mood, so I forced an upbeat tone of my own. “Should I chance another roll of the dice?”
“Go for it.” Grinning, he waggled his eyebrows at me. Yeah, Rudy’s prince and those future kids were going to be lucky indeed.
Six
Tour jeté:a split leap that turns in the air.
Rudy
Today is going to be a good day.Standing in front of the hall mirror near the ballet school office, I gave myself a little pep talk. The sounds of the professional dancers finishing their morning class filtered down the hallway. For once, I wasn’t wearing layers of ill-fitting knitwear and my hair had cooperated. I looked almost professional.
“Are you ready for the school visit?” My mother came up behind me, making me jump.Almost.I was almost a professional, other than the part where everyone kept checking up on me. I had new sympathy for Alexander and how he’d assumed I was spying. Feeling watched was a most unpleasant sensation.
“Yes, just waiting on Alexander to finish class and change.” I turned toward Mom. She looked festive in a leaf-print skirt andpumpkin-orange sweater. Seeing her looking spry did my heart good, but I needed her to worry less about me and more about her own schedule. “Are you ready for your coffee date?”
“Of course. It’s just Elaine.” She laughed, another welcome sound. As much as I didn’t like her bustling up behind me, I was glad she was up to coffee with her old friends like Alexander’s mother. The two had a long-standing Monday tradition. Casting a critical eye on herself in the mirror, Mom adjusted her sweater. “And I’m so glad you convinced Alexander to go with you.”
“JustElaine?” Alexander’s mother swept in on a gust of cold air. She had evidently caught my mother’s reply, but she didn’t seem put out as she wrapped my mother in a quick hug. Snow seemed more likely by the day, and Elaine was bundled in an elegant black wool coat, red hat, and thick gloves. “And who convinced Alexander to do what?”
“Rudy has the most marvelous plan to involve the local schools.” Pride shone through my mother’s voice, and I stood a little taller. This was the tone she usually reserved for bragging on Waylon and Helen, and warmth spread across my chest as she continued, “Today, they’re visiting third and fourth grade classrooms to introduce a unit on ballet andThe Nutcracker, which will culminate with all the students coming to a special Friday morning performance the week of the show.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful.” Elaine turned her smile on me. Tall and slim with ash-colored hair and striking blue eyes, she’d gifted Alexander with all her regal genes. “And Alexander is going along? I was under the impression that children gave him hives.”
“It’s not an allergy, Mother.” Alexander groaned as he strode toward us. He’d changed from his usual dance clothes into crisp gray pants and an ivory cashmere sweater he most certainly hadn’t found in the clearance bin at the thrift store down the block. He carried a coat over one arm. “I’m sure theseelementary schoolers will be far easier than Isabella’s toddler demons.”
“Isabella has an adorable little family.” My mother was nothing if not loyal to Elaine and her family. “And your mother needs more grandkids.”
“I do.” Elaine seized the opening, bumping my mother’s shoulder with her own. “Margie’s in the lead. Can’t have that.”
Lord save me from my mother’s favorite subject, one Elaine evidently shared. I had no idea of Alexander’s opinion on kids or relationships, for that matter, but I didn’t want to end up with the spotlight on me next.
“We should be going.” I grabbed my coat from a nearby chair. “The school is expecting us.”
