“Not even a little. But the opportunity’s real. Rex Lawson’s team confirmed it via email.” I show her my phone.
Rye’s quiet for a moment. “It’s in LA though.”
“Yeah. Laura insists it has to be there. Industry connections, session musicians, all that.”
“She’s probably right.”
“Probably.”
We sit in silence, both of us knowing what this means. Three months minimum. Maybe four.
“When do you have to decide?” she asks.
“End of the week.”
“That’s soon.”
“Yeah.”
I want to tell her that I’m leaning toward staying. That teaching Lily guitar matters more than producing an album.That what we’re building here feels more important than career advancement. But I can’t make those words come out because I’m not sure they’re true.
“Darian?” Lily’s voice calls from inside. “Can you help me?”
“Be right there,” I call back, then look at Rye. “We should talk more about this.”
“Should we?” She stands, wrapping her arms around herself. “Seems straightforward to me. You have an incredible opportunity. You should take it.”
“And us?”
“There is no us,” she says quietly. “Not really. Not yet.”
The words sting even though they’re probably true. We’ve been circling each other for months, getting closer but never quite there. Always on the cusp, until she pulls back. Or until I open my mouth to say stupid shit about job opportunities. I should’ve never answered the call.
“I thought we were something.”
Rye smirks.
Later, after Lily’s in bed, I find Rye on the porch again, glass of wine in hand.
“Rye, come on. Talk to me,” I say quietly.
Rye takes a sip of wine before answering. “I’m worried I won’t want you to–.”
“To what?”
Rye takes a deep breath. “Three months is a long time, Darian. Long enough for Lily to get used to you being gone. Long enough for me to remember why I don’t let musicians into our life.”
“So you want me to go?”
“I want you to do what’s best for your career. And I want Lily and me to not be the reason you don’t.”
“What if you’re the reason I want to stay?”
She looks at me then. “Then we’re in trouble. Because staying for someone else never works. You have to stay for yourself, or eventually you’ll resent us.”
“That’s what you really think?”
“That’s what I know.”
