I laughed out loud—another shocker. Not a fake laugh, forced laugh, ha-ha aren’t you amusing laugh. Areallaugh. I didn’t recognize the sound.
“Let’s go, hotshot. Show me what you’ve got.” I walked to the nearest firing lane and activated the warm-up program. I was a bit rusty, but within a few minutes, I had made friends with my new blaster. I hit the target dead center. “Like riding a bicycle.”
Oberon took position in the lane next to me and activated his program.
I watched him warm up, more than a little curious.
Shit. He was good. Really good. I wasn’t sure if I could beat him.
You’ve got this, hotshot.
This time, I didn’t argue with that sassy little voice. This time, I smiled.
“Best two out of three?” Oberon grinned back at me. Clearly, he had zero intention of letting me win just because I was a girl.
My entire body sizzled with anticipation. This was going to befun.
* * *
Zarren Helion, Battleship Zeus, Sector 438
I wrapped Willow’s mating collar around my hand and closed my fingers into a fist. This should be around her neck. Where it belonged.
Mymateshould be back on my ship, safe, in my bed…whereshebelonged.
This fucker knew where she was and wouldn’t tell me.
“Go home, Helion. Go sneak around in the dark and do your job. There is nothing for you here.” Commander Zeus had taken over patrolling this sector of space when the previous battlegroup had been destroyed by a new Hive weapon. He’d challenged for his position, beaten the other warriors—despite being half-human—and cleared the sector of Hive threats with an efficiency even I admired. He was single-minded, driven, and completely uncompromising. Exactly like me.
“Tell me where she is. I know she was here. Bastion Arcas transporting to your ship the day Oberon escaped was no coincidence.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” If he weren’t a battleship commander, I’d be tempted to kill him. Fuck that, if anything happened to Willow, Iwouldkill him. If not for Zeus, I’d already be at her side, keeping her safe, making her see reason.
“Chloe Phan? She’s mine, you know, part of the I.C. And Seth Mills, her mate? One of the best ReCon captains in the fleet? They all arrived on your battleship within hours of each other.”
Commander Zeus leaned back in his seat and put his boots up on top of his desk. “I don’t know anything about them. They sound like great assets to the Fleet.”
Fuck. Me. I couldn’t sit in front of this arrogant asshole’s desk for another minute and practicallybeghim for information. I stood. Couldn’t make myself leave. Palms flat on Zeus’s desk, I leaned over his pathetic barrier and looked him in the eye.
“If anything happens to my mate, I will kill you.”
Zeus stood and mirrored my position, our faces so close I could see the very human roundness of his pupils. Like Willow’s. Even this asshole made me think of her.
“I’m going to give you a pass just this once. You are obviously distraught over a female you love. But if you threaten me again, you will die of old age in my brig.”
Fuck. He could do it, too.
“Please.” I was begging. By the gods, I was fucking begging. What waswrongwith me? I did not beg. Fuck that, I didn’t evenask. Ever.“Please. I need to find her.”
Need. That was the correct word. It wasn’t the new furniture or the way her body wrapped around mine that drove me. I missed everything about her. Voice. Scent. Passion.
I missed the way she listened. The depths of her compassion. The resilient, steady anchor of hope in her mind. I didn’t know if she was aware of that part of herself, but there was something inside Willow that was unyielding in her joy forliving. Stronger than anything I’d ever known, her true power lay hidden like a secret treasure inside a small, beautiful, breakable female.
I’d never told her any of this. Like a fool, I’d taken her for granted. Soaked in all of her strengths—hope, acceptance, kindness, compassion, love—fuck, I’d known she was falling in love with me—and kept her to myself.
She should have had a second immediately. I should have asked about her nightmares the first night she trembled in my arms, not waited until guilt gnawed at me. The truth was, I’d been a fucking coward. Afraid to share her for fear I’d lose her heart to another. Afraid to ask about the shadows inside her because I didn’t want the fantasy life I was living to end. I should have faced her fears with her, not pretend they didn’t exist. I’d hidden the truth from myself.
It was my fear that held me back, not hers. Afraid to fail her. Afraid she would wake up and realize I used duty as a shield so I wouldn’t have tofeel.I’d fucking failed her in every way, except one. I loved her. I’d sworn not to, been arrogant enough to fuckingtell herI wouldnotlove her. For one reason, fear of what was happening right fucking now.
