My blow job assault had worked its magic and shut Zarren up. I’d used his pleasure—coming like wildfire through the mating collars—to distract myself from the truth. I didn’t want to think about it, but he was going to make me discuss it with him when he got home. Tonight. I wouldn’t be able to lie to him—or myself—any longer.
I wasn’t okay. In fact, I was so damn far from okay, I didn’t recognize myself.
Thank god. It’s about time. Now we can talk…
No. I’m not ready for you yet.
Pink and gray? I hated both colors, like seriously hated them since elementary school. I preferred bright reds, vibrant blues, and greens. Sunflower yellow. Colors that were full of energy and caught the eye. Orange. God, I loved bright orange.
So why had I turned our quarters into a sad, under stimulating, completely without personality, hiding place?
Because I felt safe there. That’s why. Unobtrusive. Hushed. Soft and unremarkable in every way. The room didn’t make me feel anything at all except quiet. The male who kept me company there? He was the polar opposite of boring. Zarren was fabulous. Sexy. Strong. Scary. Attentive. He hadn’t said he loved me, but that was the agreement. The real question? Was I falling in love with him?
He feels good.
I knew what she meant. When I was connected to him, I felt what he felt—and not just during sex. Every moment we were together. He was confident. Strong.
Fearless.
Was I falling in love with Zarren, or with the way he made me feel? Did it matter?
I sighed. I had plenty of time to figure all that out later. Right now, I was hungry.
I’d veered from my norm and settled on a soft pair of leggings and matching tunic with stomp-around boots, rather than a dress and slippers. The outfit was lined and very warm because the ship tended to be cold. I didn’t care what my mate said about the temperature being controlled, it was cold. Outer space was frigid. It was like the abyss outside the ship’s hull sent cold thoughts inside.
Or maybe it was the constant threat of instant annihilation. One little thing goes wrong and…poof. We’d all be dead.
Space sucked.
“My lady, please, sit anywhere you’d like.” Elite Hunter Kayn indicated the large table with a sweep of one arm as he walked to the S-Gen machine. “What can I order for you?”
“Chicken Parmigiana, please. With extra spaghetti, a piece of garlic bread and a glass of Merlot.” I could drink with lunch, right? It was five o’clock somewhere. Probably multiple somewheres. Since I seemed to be having trouble taking a deep breath—anxiety is a mother fucker—I needed to relax, at least a little. I rarely drank, so the wine would help me nap until Zarren was finished working.
“Of course.”
I didn’t expect him to remember my order, but he repeated it verbatim. Only one seat at the table was occupied. The doctor I’d seen my first day on the ship appeared to have finished eating and was twirling a half-empty glass of dark red liquid in one hand. He stared into the liquid like it held the answers to every mystery in the universe.
I’ll take a glass of what he’s having, please.
“May I?” I stood directly across the table from him.
The doctor looked up at me. “Of course, my lady.”
I sat as Kayn placed my perfectly prepared meal before me. The doctor looked at my wine. “Is that a wine from Earth?”
“It is.”
He looked at Kayn. “Get her a glass of Atlan wine. I think she would enjoy it immensely.”
Kayn looked at me. I shrugged, willing to try anything. When Kayn left the room, I must have looked confused.
“We don’t regenerate Atlan wine if we can help it. The S-Gen machine never gets it quite right.”
Kayn returned with a glass of burgundy liquid the same shade as the doctor’s. “Thank you. Cheers.” I lifted my glass toward the doctor, who looked confused. “Sorry, Earth custom. In ancient times, sloshing our drinks into each other’s glasses showed we weren’t trying to poison one another.”
That made him chuckle, but he lifted his glass. “And now?”
“I don’t know, really. I think it just means—” I literally had no idea. Enjoy? Have a good day? Glad you’re here? Hope you are cheerful? “I don’t know. I guess we are just creatures of habit.” I touched the side of my glass to his, leaned back and took my first sip of Atlan wine.
