Had I hurt her?
She sobbed again, the sound pure and filled with pain.
With a gentleness I never knew I possessed, I lifted her chin. When her gaze met mine, I cupped her cheek. Gods, she was perfect. A miracle.
Mine.
Tears streamed from her green-gold eyes, a river of emotion on her cheeks.
“God, I hate you, Velik. I fucking hate you.”
The words were raw. Brutal. Honest. And I knew she meant every soul crushing word.
12
Stefani
* * *
How long could one hide in a shower? I didn’t know how long I’d been standing here, hot water streaming down my back, but my fingertips looked like raisins.
Long enough.
Maybe he’d be gone when I went back into my room.
I snorted at my own stupidity. Not likely.
I was ruined. Sex in the back of my car? Hot. Definitely hot.
But this?
A heart attack had been a legitimate concern. If we were going to stay together, I was going to have to start working out again.
What would happen if he ever got me on my back in a nice, soft bed? Spent some time with his mouth working downtown, like he had in the car?
Another sob threatened to start the ugly train again. I shoved it down with the determination and grit I’d gained over the last six months of being a single mother. Pregnancy. Nine months of puking my guts out day and night. Pushing not one, but two babies out of my body. Forcing myselfd to move when I was sore, broken and exhausted from labor every time the twins needed me. Moving when I was literally too tired to remember my own name.
There was exhaustion, and then there was taking care of a newborn. That was next level. The first time in my life I’d actually fallen asleep standing up. If the microwave hadn’t beeped, I probably would have fallen over.
And I’d had help. Lots of help. Carmen. Henry. My sister had come for two weeks, my mom for a month after that. By then I’d hired the nanny and things started to settle down a bit. I’d survived.
Sure, I was alive, but heartbroken. Staring, each day, at the two most beautiful faces in the world, wondering what I’d done wrong. Why a male from an alien species that was absolutely legendary for their devotion to their mates, had not been devoted to me. Spent hours staring at my stretched out, overweight, post-baby body in the mirror, and cried myself to sleep more nights than I cared to remember.
Velik had rejected me when I was thin and fit with a bikini body. When I didn’t have dark circles under my eyes and breasts not-yet recovered from swelling to the size of melons.
Every day had been a mental, physical, and emotional battle. But I’d survived. I’d accepted his decision to leave me behind. Grieved. Raged. Hated myself. Hated him. And—finally—acknowledged the absolute fact that my girls and I would live our lives without him.
Terra and Alena. One named for the Earth, and one for Atlan. A secret acknowledgment of their father, and one I’d kept to myself, buried deep where no one would examine or question it.
I turned off the water and stepped out to dry off. Hiding was not my style. Never had been. But I was going to cut myself some slack on this one.
I put my hair up in a twist and pulled on the clothes I’d brought in with me. Soft jeans, an even softer sweater that fell past my hips and would hide my post-baby stomach.
Although, he’d just fucked my brains out and touched me like I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
Lies. He’d made me feel that same way once before. Chosen. Special.
Lies. Lies. Lies. But now he wasn’t the only one lying, was he?
