I’d stopped counting over a decade ago. Longer, perhaps. It was hard to remember. In fact, it was hard to remember anything—old or new—since that jelly creature on Earth had nearly ended me. Whatever was contained in the jellyfish’s poison had done more than damage some nerves, as the doctors claimed. The ReGen pod had healed me, they said. Everything was one hundred percent normal.
No. There was nothing fucking normal about my life now.
My beast was gone. I wasn’t sure when I truly realized this fact. Oh, I could still shift into beast mode in battle and rip enemies to pieces. But it was me doing the fighting, not my beast. There was no rage to carry me through impossible situations. Outnumbered by Hive Soldiers? I had to force my change. I didn’t even have to argue with him about it. It was like the jellyfish had killed my beast and left me behind.
It fucking sucked.
I never realized how much I needed that pain in the ass, growling, grumpy bastard. I was healthy. Mission ready. But half of me was missing. The wild half. The fierce, raging, fearless half. The fucking fun half.
I swung my gear into the S-Gen recyclers and made my way to my personal quarters. In no time at all I was cleaned up, the few scratches I’d received on this raid healed with the ReGen wand I kept in my rooms.
Exhaustion weighed down on every cell in my body, but I didn’t want to sleep. Resting was great, it was the dreams that haunted me. Every fucking night. Sorrow. Heart-breaking, soul-crushing agony. It sucked me down like quicksand and buried me alive.
And for what? I had brothers in arms to fight with, drink with. My family, as far as I knew, were safe and secure back home, on Atlan.
So why? What the fuck was wrong with me?
As if I’d summoned the feeling, despair dropped me to my knees. Debilitating. Like nothing I’d ever felt before.
“Fuck!” I brought my arm down on top of the small table where I would take the occasional meal. It cracked in half with a loud boom, followed almost immediately by a disembodied voice coming through my personal comm.
“Warlord Velik, this is medical.”
“What the fuck do you want?” I wasn’t in the mood.
“Our systems are detecting severe stress on your heart and central nervous system. The doctor has ordered you to report directly to medical bay three.”
“What doctor?” I asked, but I already knew the fucking answer.
“Doctor Helion, sir.”
The comm went silent, but I knew the intrusive little fucker who had access to my vitals could also track my exact location on the battleship. No. Not just on the ship. Anywhere in Coalition space. I’d had the Intelligence Core’s leash around my neck for so long I’d almost forgotten the weight of it. Almost.
For years, the beast had raged at being ordered around like an animal. Now the constant tracking and communication didn’t feel like anything at all. A nuisance, nothing more. I was here, taking orders from Helion, because I chose to be, because I didn’t have anywhere else to go.
I stood, slowly, my free hand rubbing the ache in my chest without conscious thought. I hurt all the time. Nothing I couldn’t handle. Just a slow burn, constant pain.
Maybe that jellyfish had fucked up my system more than the docs wanted to admit. Or tell me.
I paused, expecting the beast to offer some asshole retort. Nothing but silence inside me. Great, gaping emptiness.
Fuck.
No sense putting this off.
I walked into Medical Bay 3 a few minutes later. Doctor Helion stood looking over a data screen with Doctor Mersan. They were wearing medical uniforms, standard green. The color of healers.
They should have been wearing black.
Both Prillon warriors were neck deep in I.C. operations. Both were also ruthless assholes in desperate need of a mate to teach them some manners.
I wasn’t holding my breath. The day either one of them was matched to an Interstellar Bride? Well, as the humans would say, that would be the day their fiery hell turned to ice.
“What do you want with me, doc?” I didn’t bother asking where to go, just moved to the examination table closest to them and took a seat.
“Everyone out.” Helion gave the order and the room cleared of everyone but him and Doctor Mersan. Interesting. Whatever was about to go down was to be kept secret.
“How are you feeling, Velik?” Helion leaned his hips against the counter behind him and crossed his arms, looking me over from top to bottom.
