“Fine,some of usbit our tongues more than others.”Zach’s smile was back as he pushed floppy blond hair from his face.
It was hard to stay mad at Zach.Not when he knew just how much he cared about his friends and had no problem showing it.Luke was much easier to be pissed at.The sarcastic bastard.And Hunter, too.The big man may not talk much but when he did, he knew exactly what to say to hit a nerve.
Blowing out a long breath, Benny tried to remember what the point was of this sharing session.
Brain leakage?
Sounded about right.That and he was confused.Frustrated.And horny as hell.Which meant he needed advice.And out of all of his friends, Zach was the easiest to ask.
“I don’t know what she wants,” Benny admitted.
Zach nodded before asking, “Do you know whatyouwant?”
Not having a frigging clue, Benny shook his head.
“So...the idea of you guys getting back together hasn’t crossed your mind?”
Benny’s jaw tightened at the question.Taking another swig of his beer, he attempted to control his heartrate.
It was only natural to think about ‘what if’ when an ex comes back into your life, right?
Because you’re such an expert?
He was starting to see the issue of nearing thirty-years old with only one real relationship under his belt.The truth was, he had no idea what he was supposed to be feeling.Was it normal to still consider Bethany his after all this time?Because he did.Last night only solidified that feeling.To him, taking her felt right.She belonged to him.And he wanted to do it again.And again.And again.
Yeah, try explaining that to Zach without sounding like a deluded, possessive, sex-crazed asshole.
Instead, he went for a more watered-down version.“I don’t know if this is gonna make sense, but it feels like she never stopped being mine.”
Thankfully, Zach didn’t look shocked.If anything, he looked thoughtful as he nodded to himself.
“I get it.”Thank God someone does.“I felt that way with Libby...like she was mine, even when she wasn’t.”Great, he wasn’t some kind of freak.Hallelujah.“You want my advice?”The desperation must have been shining in Benny’s eyes because Zach continued without him having to say anything.“Don’t fight it.Don’t run.Do what feels right for you and I promise...things will fall into place.”
“You sound like a fucking fortune cookie, dude.Speak English.”
The dimples were back out.“Okay, let’s just say, if you just so happen to end up with Bethany in your bed again, just go with it.Don’t get caught up in the details of what’s going to happen next.Lean into it.See where it goes.”
Okay.This was advice he could get behind.No overthinking.Bethany in his bed again.He didn’t know what he liked more.
Who the fuck are you kidding?
Fine.Maybe it wasn’t so hard to choose.Not after what they did and how damn good it felt.So good that he was worried she’d already well and truly ruined him for any other woman.Despite that extremely alarming side effect, the idea of doing what they did last night again was enough to get his blood heating and his mood brightening.
Lean into it...see where it goes.
How hard could it be?
“Theres something else,” Benny announced, his stomach already somersaulting.“Last night, well, last night, she found out the real reason I broke up with her.”
He’d never told anyone.His friends knew about his mom’s cancer.Although they’d learned about the first time she was diagnosed much later as he’d joined the fire department only a few months into her treatment and hadn’t exactly felt like sharing with his new colleagues.
“Shit, man.I just assumed she broke up with you.”Zach was trying his best to hide his smile.It wasn’t working.Fucker.
His friend was treated to a whack on the arm.“Thanks, asshole.”
“Hey, you’re the one acting all lovesick.I just assumed.We all did.So...you gonna put me out of my misery?Why did you break up with her?”
“Between us?”Zach lifted his chin in acknowledgement, his stare back to serious in the blink of an eye.“My mom’s first diagnosis was a few weeks before I was set to follow her to Denver.And I just couldn’t do it.I couldn’t leave my mom.”
