As their eyes found each other again, a charged silence hung in the air.
She knows.
Thats what her eyes told him, anyway.
“Say it.”Her voice quivered.
Yep, she knows.
He still didn’t want to say it.Not out loud.Which made no sense.It was a lifetime ago.Ancient history.It shouldn’t matter.
But it does matter.
“Say it, Benny,” she repeated.This time moisture pooled in her eyes.
His voice caught before he’d even spoken, his throat so dry he felt the need to work it.
“Before you left.”There.He said it.“A few weeks before.”
He should be worried by how fast his heart was beating.How hard it was to swallow.How tense his muscles suddenly felt, like they were braced for impact.But all that faded into the background as he watched Bethany draw into herself.
I’m an asshole.
A single tear trickled down her cheek and he couldn’t stop himself.He went to her.Swiping the droplet with his thumb as his fingers went into her hair.
“Look at me, B,” he whispered.She didn’t.Couldn’t.“Please, NeNe.”
Her head began shaking, as she took a step back.Untangling herself from his hold.
“I have to go,” she announced, still not looking at him.Slowly backing further away.“Tell Catherine I’m sorry but I had to go, I’ll call her or something.I just have to...I have to—”
She didn’t finish, she simply fled.Leaving him numb.This was not how she was supposed to find out.
Like you even planned on telling her.
He hated to admit it, even to himself, but that was true.There was never any plan to tell her.Not then, not now.What was the point in dragging up the past?To relive what’s already happened?Inflict more pain?No.There was no point.
But now what?
It was out there.There was no taking it back.
With no immediate answers slapping him in the face, Benny sighed as he pushed open the glass door.Reluctantly, he returned to the circle, all eyes not so subtly on him as he did so.He didn’t pass on Bethany’s apologies to Catherine as he took his seat, nor did he address the group.He was just going to try and get through the evening as best he could while the knot in his stomach continued to twist.
His mom didn’t share tonight, she listened.As did he.That didn’t stop the grief from forming, though.It never failed to find him as he heard all too familiar stories from the other members of the group.Easily triggering memories he’d sooner forget.
“Benny, sweetie?”His mom’s hand was back on his arm.“You, okay?”
Nope.Not one bit.
Not that he would share that.Instead, he faked composure.For his mom.
“I’m going to ask you something and you’re not allowed to get upset, okay?”
He already didn’t like where this was going.
“Okay,” he answered slowly.
“Okay.”She nodded.“I want you to speak to Bethany—”
