“Like what?”
“Happy. I should hate you.”
“But you don’t.” He sounds way too smug about it.
“No. I don’t hate you. But you’re causing my brother harm. I can’t be ok with that.”
Finally, he removes his hand from between my legs, making me instantly colder. “I don’t want to talk about your brother when we’re like this.”
I close my legs as a wave of self-consciousness over takes me. “I know. But it has to be said. You’re at war with my brother. And I won’t ever be at peace until I know he’s ok.”
“Then we’re at a standstill. Because I have no desire to make your brother happy. Not until I’ve beaten him.”
I slip my underwear and pants back on. “Then I have nothing more to say.”
“You didn’t run today,” he murmurs. “You could have but you didn’t.”
“You’re right. I didn’t.”
That makes a heavy weight settle between us that I see no way of changing.
Chapter Fourteen
Katya
With a tense silence between Alek and I, he ends up giving me space the entire next day. I’m not sure how I feel about it. A part of me is grateful that I have time to think without him around me, confusing my mind. But another part of me is missing him. Craving his touch.
I don’t know how to make sense of all these feelings inside of me.
I explore the house, feeling more confident moving around open spaces. I haven’t missed my old room once today.
I end up in the large indoor pool room. The smell of chlorine is strong but it’s also kind of nice. I’ve never smelled it before. Only read about it in books. My family never brought me to the poolwhen my parents were still alive. My father saw doing things as a family pointless and my mother was too afraid to get on his bad side.
So many new things for me to explore. It’s not as scary as it once was which makes it all the more scarier because I haven’t missed Dimitri as much as I should. Of course I’m worried about him. Worried over how much he’s worried for me.
But I can’t deny the excitement at starting a new life with Alek. Being my own woman. Moving away from the trauma that held me in my room for so long.
I settle in one of the chairs by the pool with a book. I don’t know how to swim so maybe that’s something new I can learn. One day. When things calm down. If they’ll ever calm down.
I hear female voices in the hallway outside the room and before I can process it, Nina and Susanna enter, carrying towels with them. They’re chatting away like they don’t have a care in the world. It must be nice to not have to be so afraid of everything.
They stop when they see me.
“Oh,” Nina says with surprise in her voice.
“Oh,” Susanna also says but her tone is much more critical. “We didn’t know you were going to be in here.”
“I’m Alek’s wife now. Technically this is my home.” That’s a surreal thought for sure. “What are you two doing here?”
“We came over for a swim,” Nina explains. “Alek had a pool at his old house and he told us that we were welcome to use that one every time, so we figured we could use the pool at his new house now.”
“Does Alek know you’re here?”
Susanna huffs. It seems that no matter what I say, I’m never good enough for her. “Alek gave us a key. We’re welcome whenever we want. Because Alek is our family.” There’s a clear distinction in her voice: she and I are not family.
“Right. Well, I’ll just leave you be.” There’s no point in arguing with them. I’ll never win. I close my book and move to stand when Susanna speaks.
“I can’t believe this,” she mutters.
