“Okay.”
He slid off the stool and followed me to the door. Crisp, early morning air chilled my face. Tears burned behind my eyes as we walked toward the stable. I could feel the tension between us.
Maybe we only had one night. Maybe he was having regrets. I didn’t regret sleeping with him, only the timing. That I hadn’t thought about what it would do to Cruz.
I still woke up knowing I could fall for Ryatt…and fall hard.
We stopped at the open paddock. Mom had a mare out early. She would’ve seen both bikes in the yard. She probably had breakfast on the stove.
“Are we okay?” I asked, tightening the blanket around my shoulders.
Ryatt squinted into the rising sun, then turned and leaned against the fence. “I don’t know. I couldn’t sleep last night. I’ve been up, thinking about us—about everything.”
I stood in front of him. A ball of insecurity crawled into my throat. The shiver prickling my skin had nothing to do with the chill in the air but everything to do with the cold tone of his voice. “Do you regret last night?”
He tipped his head back, his neck stretching and his Adam’s apple bobbing on a swallow.
“Ryatt?” His name on my lips had my heart stuttering. Last night, we’d gotten closer, and now fear that he’d walk away slipped hotly through my thoughts.
“Regret isn’t the right word.”
“Then what is?”
“Okay, regret might be the right word. I regret the timing, not that it happened.”
“I wish we’d been alone, too.”
“It’s not just that Cruz was there. Even though I feel like an asshole because he was decent to me last night. And he brought you home.” He gripped the blanket and tugged me closer, banding his arms around me. “I need to apologize to you, too. I didn’t protect you. We didn’t use a condom.”
I tipped my face to his. “I didn’t want to stop either.” I released a shaky exhale. “But yeah, we should’ve used a condom.” He’d told me it had been a while since he’d slept with anyone. Long enough to know he was clean. But I’d been with Cruz.
“I wish we’d been alone, too. He was probably listening.”
“I think we were quiet.” I slid out of his arms, and we watched the horse wander around the paddock. “Ryatt, Cruz knows. Not because he saw or heard something last night. He didn’t say anything just now. But he has asked me if I’d slept with you. I didn’t lie tohim. I told him not yet.” I lifted my face to his. “I knew that I wanted to.”
His brow pinched. “His comments make a little more sense now. Did he give you permission to fuck me?”
“Ryatt,” I softly said and rested my hand on his sternum. “Cruz has nothing to do with us. The first time we met at Kiss’s meeting, I knew we were vibing, but I was with Cruz. I’m not a cheater.”
“I know. My timing sucks. I didn’t want to be a rebound.”
“You aren’t. I have feelings for you. When I’m not with you, I’m thinking about you. I wanted last night to happen. I know this is so messed up. I don’t know what to say. I only know that I can’t let him go, either.”
“He still considers you his girlfriend.”
“I know.”
“Do you consider him your boyfriend?”
“No. Maybe. We’re something.”
He growled and rolled his shoulders. “McKelle, I just need you to tell me what you want. Don’t make me guess because I’m jumping to some fucked up conclusions. This is like sister wives, only you want brother husbands. Are you planning on sleeping with both of us?”
“Planning isn’t the right word.”
He cocked a brow.
“It’s still not the right word,” I said. “I didn’t plan last night.”
