“Yeah.”
She pivoted on the couch, crossed her legs, and faced me. “I want to explain.” The guilt on her face was a punch to the gut.
“It’s cool. You don’t owe me an explanation. Like I said, I’d rather know now than a month from now. You got history with him.” I smiled at her. “I think he’s a dick, but I’m not in a relationship with him.”
“I’m not either. Not technically.”
I raised one eyebrow.
A soft laugh slipped from her lips, but she wasn’t smiling. “After you left Chrome, we talked. I don’t know if we fixed us, not completely anyway. I’m not angry anymore.”
The night just kept getting shittier. “You don’t need me here when you’re trying to patch things up with Cruz.”
“I need you here because I need you. I told him that I wasn’t going to stop seeing you.”
My heart hammered against my ribs, and my gut clenched. “Then why is he still here?”
“I can’t just turn off my feelings.” She fidgeted with the edge of the blanket. “No one understands so I don’t expect you to either. People don’t know him the way I do.” Her gaze lifted to mine. “And I’m not the same with him as I am with you. I don’t think you’d want to know that girl.”
“What am I supposed to say to that?”
“I don’t know. I know that he’s always going to be a part of my life. I’ll understand if you want to walk away. I’m not expecting you to just put up with me seeing him. But I won’t pretend that he’s not important.”
“You can’t have us both.”
“I know.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “He doesn’t make me feel the way you do.”
Then it should have been an easy choice. “How do I make you feel?”
She leaned her head on my shoulder. “I feel beautiful.” She laced her fingers with mine. “I feel wanted. But more than that. When I’m with you, I’m the only one you see.”
I slid my hand onto her hip and tugged her onto my lap. Her arms draped over my shoulders, and her fingers played in the hair at the back of my neck. I gripped her ass and pulled her hard against my dick.
“You’re so fucking beautiful that I can’t stop looking at you. I’m being completely transparent. You’re all I think about. But I’m not interested in a hookup. If we’re temporary, I’d rather just stay friends. I like you.” My lips twitched with a smile. “I want to fuck you, too. But I don’t want to be in a situationship with you and Cruz. I’m willing to wait until you sort out your feelings for him.”
“I know how it feels to be insecure in a relationship,” she said. “It broke me.” She rested her forehead against mine. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” I said. Her eyes said enough. She was torn.
“I don’t want to be just friends.”
“You want to date us both?”
She nodded. “But I’ll understand if you can’t. I know I’m not being fair to either of you.”
“It’s not about being fair. But you need to be honest. Just tell me if you want to keep this casual.” Because someone was going to end up hurt. I had a feeling in my gut it was going to be me. This was risking it all. And I could end up with nothing.
“This doesn’t feel casual.” She held me a little tighter. “I want you in my life. We can promise no matter what happens, not to hate each other.”
“I keep my promises,” I said.
“So do I. Will you kiss me?”
I tilted her head and claimed her lips. Her tongue teased mine. I gripped her ass, rocking into her as I kissed her. The hot, silkiness of her mouth, the soft whimpers, and her hot as fuck tongue piercing had my dick hard and my balls ready to nut.
This girl had me tied up in knots. She was kissing me like she wanted to climb inside me, but I think she just admitted she was back with Cruz. It had been too long since I’d gotten my dick wet, but I wasn’t desperate enough to be on standby in case shit didn’t work out between them.
Or was she choosing me? She was on my lap, grinding down on my dick, and footfalls sounded on the stairs. Cruz was somewhere in the room.
