With the baby asleep in her arms, Jazzy bounced closer.
“Is the board meeting over?” Because I didn’t see Romeo, Dozer, or Blade.
“No. Rosie was fussy, so I stepped out. Your patch looks great. Have you talked to Hana about getting Heller ink?”
I slapped a hand to my chest. “Soon.” I hated the insecurity snaking through my thoughts. I hated that everyone would look at me and know I’d fucked up again. But worse was not knowing if McKelle was with him.
Emotions burned like acid in my throat. I couldn’t look at Jazzy, couldn’t risk seeing condemnation in her eyes. It wasn’t the situation with Bullet and Jinx, but that I’d betrayed my girl. “Do you know?”
“Know what?” she asked.
“Fuck, Jazzy. Rogue and Romeo are family. Romeo and Ryatt seem tight.”
“They are.” She swayed next to me to keep the baby asleep. “Romeo wants to sponsor him.”
I raked my fingers through my hair. “I fucked up. I’m afraid this time she’s not going to forgive and forget.”
“She’s never going to forget. Never. Trust me. On this, I’m an expert. But have you given her a reason to forgive?”
“Until just now, I’ve been lucky that she’d respond to my text messages. We’re going to talk tomorrow. I know she isn’t going to believe anything I have to say. She’s riding with Ryatt. They were at the track together. She has an adrenaline addiction, and he rides a fast bike.”
Jazzy smirked.
“What?”
“Are you sure you want to hear this?”
“No, not if you’re going to tell me they’re hooking up.”
“I don’t know if they are.”
“Does Kiss know?”
“You’re not going to interrogate her. Don’t make her betray a friend. The girl is doing great. She’s clean, and you’re not going to fuck with her emotions. If Blue doesn’t kick your ass, I will.” She sat in the chair next to me. “Not that you need to hear this again, but you fucked up.”
“Keep reminding me.” Bury me under the weight of my mistakes.
“You wear the patch now, and that comes with responsibilities to the club. When Ryatt patches into the club, he’ll be your brother.”
A patch required a unanimous vote. He’d never wear the patch as long as I did.
She chuckled. “I know what you’re thinking,” she said. “You’ll change your mind.”
“You think?”
“I know. Because if you care about McKelle, and if he’s what makes her happy—”
“I make her happy.” The words tasted bitter because they were laced with betrayal because I hurt her first.
“Try being what she needs rather than focusing on what’s good for you.” The baby fussed. Jazzy stood and gently bounced her again. “You can’t fight the past, and you’ll never outrun your fears. Maybe you’re worried that he’ll be good for her, that he’ll be goodtoher.”
No doubt. He’d take her out, spend time with her family. He’d spend endless hours at the track.
Then he’d be gentle, caressing her soft curves with a tender touch. He’d never leave bruises on her thighs,wouldn’t wrap his fingers around her throat, call her a whore, and force her to choke on his cock.
He might be right for her on paper, but he wouldn’t be enough. Mckelle liked the game. The one she played with me. I leaned forward and braced my elbows on my knees.
“Trust me,” I said. “He looks good, but he’s not her type.”
