Another text came through.
Cruz: Don’t leave me on read. I didn’t fuck Jinx. I never touched her. I didn’t break my promise.
I closed my eyes. There was something wrong with me. I desperately wanted to believe him. I could hear my conscience arguing with my heart, telling me not to be stupid. But I was stupid.
Nothing he said would change what I heard.
McKelle: Were you one of the seven?
Bubbles appeared immediately.
Cruz: Yes, but I can explain. I didn’t fuck her.
He was a liar.
McKelle: Stop calling me. Stop texting me. I’m done.
Cruz: I DIDN’T FUCK HER!
My phone vibrated. I declined the incoming call. If I talked to him, I’d only be giving him an opportunity to gaslight me into believing he did nothing wrong. Maybe he didn’t fuck her, but then why would he have been there? Why would Bullet pay him? I was stupidly in love with Cruz, but he couldn’t love me if he didn’t care how he hurt me.
My hand shook as I opened his contact, changed his name to Liar, and blocked his number.
I closed my eyes and stopped fighting the tears. I hated this. Hated that I wanted more than he did. Hated that I was crying over him again. I hated that I couldn’t let him go.
I had to because I’d been here before. Cruz was never going to change. Wanting me, saying I was his, was never going to make him mine.
Minutes passed. If he was still texting, he’d see they were undelivered. If he called, he’d go straight to voicemail.
An insta notification lit my phone. I had a message from Cruz.
Cruz: Did you block me?
I deleted the message and unfollowed him. Then I quickly did the same on all my socials. I felt as if I’d carved a black hole in my chest to bury the carcass of my feelings for Cruz. I’d rather be numb than hurt like this.
Blue: I know you don’t want to talk. But I don’t think he’s lying. He didn’t fuck Jinx.
McKelle: Don’t lie for him…
I deleted that message. Did it even matter?
McKelle: Okay. He didn’t fuck her.
Blue: Will you talk to him?
McKelle: No. Tell him to stay away from me.
Because I still wasn’t sure I was strong enough to stay away from him.
At some point, I’d fallen asleep because when I woke, my eyes burned and the hollow ache in my chest had swollen to encompass my entire body.
Mom’s rooster cackled into the crisp early morning air. Predawn glow cut through the windows. I picked up my phone and squinted against the burn in my eyes from not getting enough sleep and crying my emotions out.
Of course, there would be no texts from Cruz. And there never would be again. No more fights. No more filthy fucks to work out our aggression. No more teasing. No laughs. No more tugs on my tummy as I melted under the heat of his stare.
I sent a quick text to Ryatt.
McKelle: Hi. It’s McKelle. Can we meet at Vintage Brew on Washington?
