“What didIdo? I didn’t do… Jeez, what makes you say that? I just can’t stay there, okay? We kinda had a fight.” I gritted my teeth. I knew I shouldn’t have called my mom.
“I’m sorry, dear. Really, but these things happen. People quarrel, and they apologize and make up. You should make the first effort. He likes you. Anyone can see that.”
“I’m not so sure.” I stopped pacing in front of the main entrance. Part of me wanted to tell her everything. From the camping trip to now. But one, I was thirty-one years old and there were simply things my mother did not need to know. And two, she knew of my ability, which she called intuition, but I kept her out of the supernatural events and beings in my life.
“He dotes on you. But that boy has had a hard past. I could tell the moment I laid eyes on him. He’s smart and charming, but he probably doesn’t trust easily.”
“Maybe that’s the problem.”
“Maybe?” She scoffed. “I’d say most likely. Underneath that charm there’s pain, so whatever he did, take that into account.”
“Yes. You’re right. But I just need some space. Can I come visit for a couple of days?”
“Of course, son. You can come anytime. Mind you, Thursday is poker night, so bring cash.”
“Thanks, Ma. I love you.”
“I love you too, honey.”
I hung up, feeling like I had a plan now. A few days in Brooklyn in the old neighborhood and then I could come back. Then I’d be composed enough to talk to Regge. To try to understand why he was so… secretive and withdrawn and… God, he was such an asshole.
Chapter Nineteen
Regge on dumplings, heartbreak, and life lessons
After Hunter had stormed out of the flat, I stomped around in such a huff that Archie gave up napping and escaped out the window. Scrubbing my place like a mad man to a loud Nirvana playlist didn’t help my mental state, but my flat sparkled.
Why had I freaked out? The night had been amazing. Hunter—my Hunter was back and wanted me as much as I wanted him.
If we could stick to sex, things would be okay. I could do that. It was seeing Hunter all sleepy and sex drunk the next morning that created the knot in my gut. He was completely adorable and sweet. And I was… me. I scrubbed the shower with vicious strokes that made the tile squeak.
My mind replayed everything over the past few days. My worry, my guilt, anger, and worst of all, helplessness. I’d been helpless to rescue Hunter. Only luck and help from our friends had brought him back. When Hunter saidfriends with benefits, I’d been on the edge of an emotional high and physical need. I would have said anything to keep him. Promised him anything.
Later, I felt flayed open in front of him—all my insecurities, all my stupid habits and quirks on display. It was only a matter of time before he realized what a mess I was and left.
I did what I always did. No eye contact, no emotional tones or words. All business. Like Hunter was a mark in a con. As though our intimacy was a transaction instead of what it was. We’d connected. Not only last night but in the woods under thestars. I’d talked about things I’d never talked about to anyone. I’d let Bruce Hunter see me. My ugly truth, my sordid past, my worthlessness.
Maybe that’s why I held back. Hunter was clearly looking for more than I could give. If I told him the whole story of how I’d failed him, he’d leave me. And rightly so.
I’d let it happen, convincing him we should help Nigel. And I’d lost him, standing by as Anu talked through his vocal cords, walked with his legs, saw me through his eyes.
“Coward.” I sat back on my haunches, the wet denim stretching over my knees as I rinsed the shower again. “You are a spectacular coward. Hunter deserves the truth.”
Archie had returned to sit in judgment in the bathroom doorway.
“Sure, Arch. I’ll just find him and tell him everything. That will solve it. Right?” I let out a frustrated breath.
He mewled in disgust, turning away, tail high.
“Yeah, thanks. Just what I need.”
I left for work early, and the shift was busy enough to distract me for a few hours. I walked home from the bus stop at a slower pace than usual, not wanting to face an empty flat.
Putting on the smile I’d worn all day, I bought fresh dumplings at the Asian grocery store on my corner.
I should have called—checked on him. Of course I was worried. It was a natural thing to do—worry about your friends. And Hunter was still my friend, right? Silently I scoffed at the word. Friends didn’t kiss you breathless or make you see stars when you came. Bloody fucking stars.
I should call him. And in the same breath, I knew I wouldn’t. It was likely he’d gone to Pinkie’s where Abraham would fill him in. I stopped short. Abraham stood at my building, his finger on the buzzer.
