Not for me. For her safety.
Just another mask.
The disbelief anyone would want to be with someone like me flashes across the pharmacist's face before she can hide it. She nods anyway, professional mask slipping back into place as she types in her computer. "Right. Of course," she says hoarsely.
The skepticism rolls off her in waves.
Let her think what she wants.
Doesn't matter.
All that matters is getting this shot.
She turns to go to the shelves of medication. Wipes her hand on her lab coat first. She doesn't want to have touched something I touched. Even my ID.
The gesture isn't lost on me.
Another small humiliation to add to the collection.
I take my ID card off the counter before she remembers to scan it in. Won't be able to show everyone later, then.
Last thing I need is a leak.
Not that it matters.
I'm leaving anyway.
This is just another reminder of why.
When she comes back, she holds a small box and a pamphlet. "It's an auto-injector, like an EpiPen," she explains, not able to meet my eyes. Her shoulders are trembling. Feel bad for scaring her. "There are two shots here. Give them to her exactly three days apart in the upper thigh. Both doses are required for the suppressant to work properly. Oh, and have her lie down before you give it to her in case she gets lightheaded."
I nod, taking the box.
Vaguely sign a thanks and a sorry.
She gives me a confused frown.
Doesn't know what it means.
Shouldn't have thought she would. Stressed enough I'm not thinking clearly.
"You know," she continues, her voice taking on a patronizing tone. "Suppressants aren't ideal for long-term use. Omegas should really be handling heats the natural way. You shouldn't let her take these medications. Knotting is healthier for them. If she refuses…"
A low growl rumbles in my chest, making her jolt. Cutting her off.
Good.
I don't feel bad for frightening her this time.
It's not the implication that no one would want me.
That part is true.
It's the implication that omegas aren't people with choices.
That I shouldn't "let" an omega do what she wants.
That I should force her.
